Am I Gay or Lesbian

Almost everyone, at one time in their lives, will have been attracted to a person of the same gender, but not necessarily felt sexual attraction. We all have idols, heroes or heroines during our growing years, and for many, that is where it ends. But for about 10-15% of the adult population, the feelings of attraction to a person of the same gender persist.

Trying to identify your true sexual orientation may be difficult for some, who might be distressed at the feelings of sexual attraction, and experience behavioral changes, like withdrawal, unwillingness to go out socially, mood swings, eating difficulties, and problems with concentration.

The question 'Am I gay or lesbian?' can be a cause of great pain and turmoil to many women and men alike. In particular, those who have had a strict religious upbringing can suffer very much if they find themselves attracted to a person of the same gender.

Many people suppress their true feelings and form heterosexual relationships, leading to marriage or longterm partnerships in an attempt to be 'normal' or acceptable to family, friends and society. Others suppress their feelings with alcohol, drugs, or even overwork. Sadly, a number of gifted, talented people have committed suicide, rather than face the disapproval or judgment of family members. People do not choose to be gay, they either are or are not, although to date there is no proof that it is either 'in the genes' or determined by experiences in early life.

It can be very helpful to openly discuss these feelings and attractions with someone non-judgmental and supportive, who can help you to discover who you really are.

Last updated: 8/05

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