Teens Living with AIDS:
Three People's Stories

HIV-Positive Teens Tell Their Stories:
STAN

Stan was the baby-faced one in the group, the youngest at 19 years old. In August of 1989, he spent his summer days like many other 13-year-olds, with the fluttered stomach that comes from first love and knowing you're about to start high school.

Late that summer, red spots started appearing on his skin and he was tired all the time, as if he had mono. A few weeks later, he started high school feeling healthy. He went for a routine physical that winter so he could join the swim team.

That's when he learned he was HIV-positive.

"At first we thought there must have been a mistake, the test must have been switched," Stan said. "So I took another test and that one was positive, too. I told the woman I'd been dating, who was much older, and within 24 hours she was gone. I never heard from her again.

"I started getting really angry that at 14, I had this life-threatening disease. I had dreams about going to college, making money. But how could I plan for college when I didn't know if I was going to live another year?"

Stan didn't want his life to change. He wanted to worry about the same things his friends worried about, like girls and sports. He was scared to tell people he had the HIV virus because it was a conservative community and he'd heard about people being beat up in other towns. When he told his friends the news, most of them didn't even believe him. He eventually found understanding by joining a support group for HIV-positive teens.

"Joining that support group was the best thing I could have done," the 19-year-old said. "The next best thing I did was to leave school during my junior year. It was holding me back."

He earned the equivalent of a high school degree and began taking courses at a nearby college. He also journeyed to other countries -- something he'd always wanted to do. This summer Stan will travel to Greece and the Middle East.

"I'm planning on living through this thing," he said. "A couple of years ago I had this five-minute flash into the future. I saw myself at 35, thinking, 'Look at all that has happened. Back when you were 16, you thought you were going to die.'

advertisement

"Lately, I've been thinking about the deeper meaning of this virus," Stan said. "I've been thinking about the fear it brings out, how people are afraid of anyone who's different. This disease has taught me that we're all human beings. What religion you are, what color skin you have is really irrelevant when it comes to the big picture.

"And just because I'm HIV-positive, who am I to think my problems are any worse than anybody else's? I could live in this space being angry or I could say, 'What can this teach me? How can I turn this around?' Not that there aren't days I'm angry - but I turn that anger into fuel to live."

Stan's Story

Ann's Story

Missy's Story

Information

Written in 1995. Last reviewed: 10/05

top ~ story 1 2 3 4 5 6 ~ send page to friend