Life with Alex

Living with AIDS

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Alex looked very puzzled as he exclaimed, "But daddy! You're a grown-up! You're not supposed to go to school. What are you learning in school anyway?"

I told him that I was learning to teach people about AIDS. He pursued this a bit further asking what AIDS was. Apparently my explanation hit a little too close to home as I explained that AIDS was a disease that could make people very sick and they had to take lots of medicine. Ultimately, Alex asked me if he had AIDS. I have made it a point never to lie to my son, so I told him he did. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Alex only 7 years old, already was having to come to grips with his own mortality.

In the several years that have followed we have become increasingly public about our story. Our story has been reported, usually in conjunction with some fund raiser, in the local newspaper, television, radio, and even the Internet.

Alex has also made public appearances with us. As Alex got a little older we made something of a game out of learning the names of his medicines. Now Alex can be quite a ham (and a bit of a show off) in interviews. He knows AZT not only as AZT, Retrovir, or Zidovudine, but also as 3 deoxy 3-azidothymidine!

Alex has done very well so far. He is 11 now. During the last year he has been hospitalized 5 times. This sounds very grim. Of these hospitalizations, 4 were the result of side effects of drugs. Only one was the result of an opportunistic infection.

The Community of Faith and AIDS

The community of faith plays an important role in dealing with AIDS. First of all, though many churches might find this repugnant, education about at-risk behaviors including open and frank sex education is a moral imperative. The lives of our youth are at stake. Though the education of my own family may not have prevented their infection, the education of the blood donor who was infected might have saved both his life and the lives of my wife and son.

The health and welfare of those infected and affected by the AIDS pandemic does not end with receiving the necessary medicines and medical care. An important part of their health and welfare is their mental and spiritual well being. Though the church may not be able to save the lives of these people, they certainly can provide a source or spiritual support that could lead them to an even greater gift... the gift of faith that could lead to eternal life.

This year's World AIDS Day (1997) focused on Children Living in a World with AIDS. Alex has his own perspective from the viewpoint of a child living with AIDS with both of his parents. Still other children have the perspective of living without one or both of their parents. I know several children who have lost other relatives and friends who have a difficult time understanding why and how this has happened.

Our focus is on Children Living in a World with AIDS, so let's take a moment to consider those children living in a community of faith with AIDS. My own son and I had a conversation that went something like this:

Alex: Daddy...(pause) I believe in miracles!

Dad: Well that's great son. Perhaps you should tell me more.

Alex: Well... God can work miracles, right?

Dad: That's right.

Alex: And Jesus worked miracles and could heal people the doctors couldn't make well, right?

Dad: That's right.

Alex: Then Jesus and God can kill the HIV in me and make me well.

People of faith across the world must work together to ensure that all of God's children have the opportunity to experience faith such as this. This is especially important for those that are living a real life nightmare like AIDS.

People living with AIDS, need love and caring as much as anyone. They need something that can give them comfort and peace.

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I know the inner peace that faith in Jesus Christ can bring and the emptiness that can exist in the absence of that faith. Despite all of the problems that my family has experienced (or perhaps even because of them) and a nearly 20 year absence from church, I have had my faith restored. The example set by people ministering to my family as we learned to live with AIDS, has led me back to God. I know this is the greatest gift I could receive and, I know now, that this is the greatest gift I have to offer.

Ed. note: Richard's wife died on Nov. 19, 2000, as the result of liver problems brought on by AZT, her AIDS medication. Alex Cory has not been hospitalized since just before Christmas in 2001. He is now 20 and was diagnosed with AIDS in 1996.

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Written in 1997. Last reviewed: 10/05

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