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Chapter 43 of the book Self-Help
Stuff That Works by Adam Khan:
HAPPY PEOPLE HAVE something in common. It’s not money and
it’s not fame. According to researchers David G. Myers, professor
of psychology at Hope College, and Ed Diener, professor of
psychology at the University of Illinois, happy people are healthier
and share the following four traits:
- They like themselves.
- They have a high degree of personal control.
- They are optimistic.
- They are extroverts.
The good news is that none of these are fixed — each can be
cultivated. If you are weak in any of these four traits, you can
become happier by strengthening it.
- Like yourself more by doing better. Improve your ethics
— when you stop fudging on something, you stop beating
yourself up for fudging. Increase your ability — when you are
more skilled at something, you admire yourself more, both for
your new ability and for the perseverance it took to attain it.
Treat people better — because we’re social animals, when we
help others like themselves more, it comes around and helps us
like ourselves more too
- Gain more control of your time by directly seeking it.
This includes reading time-management books and applying what
you learn. But keep this in mind: No matter how good you are, if
you keep increasing the number of pans in the fire, at some
point you’ll start to lose control. Decrease the number of
pans until you have good control. With practice you may be able
to increase that number. But maintain control in the meantime.
- Be more optimistic by studying Martin Seligman’s work
and the attitude section of this book. In his book Learned
Optimism, Seligman outlines the three key areas where a change
will make a difference and shows you exactly how to make those
changes.
- Become more extroverted by studying and practicing the
classic How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale
Carnegie and the people section of this book. It helps to begin
with the supposition that introversion is simply a lack of
ability to deal with people. Then, remedy that lack.
Carnegie’s book is still on the bookshelves after all these
years because it’s the best collection of information about
how to deal with people that has ever been written.
No matter how happy or unhappy you are now, you can make your
life a happier one, and you can do it one small step at a time.
To become happier:
Strengthen your integrity, get better control
of your time, become more optimistic, and practice good human
relations.
A simple change in perspective can make you feel better and
can also make you more effective at dealing with the
situation. Here's one way to change your perspective.
Adventure
What if maximizing your full potential was bad for you?
Be All You Can Be
This is a simple technique for reducing a little of the
stress you feel day to day. Its biggest advantage is you can
use it while you work.
Rx to Relax
Why are some people interested in life and others bored?
Find out here.
Interest is Life
Self-esteem should be intimately tied to integrity.
If it isn't, the self-esteem is a farce.
How to Like Yourself
More
Why do people in general (and you in particular) not feel
happier than our grandparents felt when they had far fewer
possessions and conveniences than we now have?
We've Been Duped |
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