When love is not enough...

"Good-enough parenting" will get most people by the normal trials and tribulations of living with kids. Parents of difficult children need more skills than come naturally. Parenting a difficult child requires knowledge of techniques and principles that work with hard-to-raise kids. After twenty years of parenting, the following books and authors are highly recommended.

Keep this in mind: Skills must fit your value system and your personality. If a book speaks to you, it probably fits. If an author leaves you cold, it's not for you. Trust your intuition.

= Elaine's Favorite books.

Understanding "normal"

• Your 2 Year Old : Terrible or Tender; Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg; Paperback

   

• Your One-Year-Old : The Fun-Loving, Fussy 12-To 24-Month-Old; Louise Bates, Ames, et al; Paperback

   

• Your Three Year Old : Friend or Enemy; Louise Bate Ames, Frances L. Ilg; Paperback

   

• Your Four-Year-Old : Wild and Wonderful; Louise B. Ames, Frances L. Ilg; Paperback

   

• Your 5 Year Old : Sunny and Serene; Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg; Paperback

   

• Your Six-Year-Old : Loving and Defiant; Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg; Paperback

   

• Your Ten to Fourteen Year Old; Louise Bates Ames, et al;

Understanding the difficult child

• The Difficult Child; Stanley, M.D. Turecki, Leslie Tonner

   

• The Emotional Problems of Normal Children : How Parents Can Understand and Help; Stanley, M.D. Turecki, Sarah, Ph.D. Wernick

   

• Normal Children Have Problems, Too : How Parents Can Understand and Help; Stanley Turecki, Sarah Wernick

Establishing a solid relationship:

Relationships are built on trust and trust is built on communication. These techniques are for everyone.

• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk; Adele Faber, et al;

   

• Siblings Without Rivalry/How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too; Adele Faber, et al;

   

• Between Brothers and Sisters : A Celebration of Life's Most Enduring Relationship; Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish.

   

• How to Talk So Kids Can Learn : At Home and in School : What Every Parent and Teacher Needs to Know; Adele Faber, et al.

   

• Liberated Parents, Liberated Children : Your Guide to a Happier Family; Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

   

• Parent/Teen Breakthrough: The Relationship Approach; Mira Kirshenbaum and Charles Foster. ISBN 0-452-26616-5

Reasonable, rational discipline that works!

• 
  1-2-3 Magic
  ISBN: 0963386190, 2nd Edition, 1996 by Thomas W. Phelan.

  Absolutely the best. This is a quick read offering parents a no-nonsense approach to rational, humane, effective discipline for all children, ages 2 -12. (especially effective for difficult children and their stressed-out parents.) Short on theory, long on results, this book is a gem. Parents can learn how to stop behaviors that need to be stopped and start behaviors that need to be started. Both situations need explicit techniques and Dr. Phelan explains how to do it. It really is as simple as 1-2-3. Begging, arguing, yelling, and hitting will be a thing of the past. Use Used with Dr. Rimm's recipe for successful time outs, this book is terrific.

   

• Children: The Challenge; Rudolf Dreikurs (out of print, try used book stores.)

   

• New Approach to Discipline : Logical Consequences; Rudolf Dreikurs

You MUST be kind and firm at the same time.

Great Parenting Help

Absolutely solid advice from a common-sense mother of four with a Ph.D.

• Sylvia Rimm's Smart Parenting : How to Parent So Children Will Learn

   

• Keys to Parenting the Gifted Child (Barron's Parenting Keys); Sylvia B., Ph.D. Rimm

   

• Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades : And What You Can Do About It; Sylvia B. Rimm

   

• Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades : And What You Can Do About It; Sylvia, Dr. Rimm

   

• Perfect Parenting: The Dictionary of 1,000 Parenting Tips; Elizabeth Pantley

  Great reference book with problems arranged in alphabetical order. Find any problem quickly without consulting an index. The "Situation" is described, followed by "Think About It" with a brief explanation of what is actually going on. The next section has multiple suggestions for workable "Solutions." Wonderful format, great advice. VERY useful.

Recommended by Other Parents

• Raising Your Spirited Child; Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.
  Recommendation.

   

• In Their Own Way; Discovering and Encouraging Your Child's Personal Learning Style by Thomas Armstrong, Ph.D.
  Recommendation.

   

• The Way They Learn", by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias. ISBN 1-56179-253-5.
  Recommendation.

   

• Books on Attention Deficit Disorder

   

  Recommended by parents who have ADD kids. With descriptions.

   

• Little Feelings by Judy Spain Barton. The author is a therapeutic service provider who has several children, (some adopted) and understands the importance of addressing feelings issues.