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Parenting Community Wall
| larry sanders - LSan690827@aol.com -
61 |
Comments - Rule #1- You cannot become
the person you want to be by being the person you are. CHANGE is mandated.
Rule#2- Stress is only the result of not getting what you want.
Rule#3- Parenting is a role that is only to be applied in the presence of
children. Worrying,fretting,and being upset about what your kids MIGHT be doing
when you are not around is a waste of your creativity and energy.
Rule#4-Children learn by mimicry. The only way to raise children that are
problem-free and creative is to make certain that the people to whom the child
belongs are themselves problem-free and creative.
The simplest way for parents to "save" our youth is to teach them
personal excellence through demonstration. Teach them step-by-step your
strategies for creating a life that is joyous and wonderful. Children love to
mimic winners in all areas of living. |
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| billy Vee - Billy_vee@yahoo.com - 34 | | Comments - I think that the only way to successfully turn a productive, well adjusted, complete, and responsible little person into this world is to first be that well adjusted, productive responsible person yourself. And it is that simple. You MUST sacrifice the immaturity and iresponsibility you so enjoyed before the arrival of the miracle. |
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| larry sanders - LSan690827@aol.com - 61 | | Comments - If parenting were "natural", then all parents would be doing the same thing with all children everywhere. Could it possibly be that parenting is only a role people play out in the presence of children in order to influence them? Would it also be true that if children do not turn out the way their parents or others want,then the problem to be solved is in the parents and not the child? |
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| Michelle Countess - countess@usa.com - 39 | | Comments - I came in search of a little comfort today. I am really struggling. Due to a very nasty bitter divorce in '91, my daughter is not with living with me now.
She graduates this year from high school, I wish I could be there. I miss her so very much. I tried over the years. I've made amends for the sad things from the past and appologized if I may have hurt her. However, it falls on deaf ear with her current parenting situation constantly talking down myself and allowing her to lie and continue to get by with such. It is so very sad that it is a strugle to have any contact. I've sent things for holidays, birthdays, etc...not a thank you, return to sender, nothing. I truly do not know if she even gets what I send her.
Does anyone out there relate to this? Any suggestions? There is a huge emptyness in my heart for her. DAILY, it is a strugle. Anyone know of a chat, support or forum (s) on the web that just might help me through these TOUGH TIMES.
Thanks for ANY info. regarding my situation you might have. |
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| Stephanie - sande2@netins.net - 36 | | Comments - I am a single mother of a ADHD just recently diagnosed ODD 12 year old son. It is very difficult with him but basically he is a very loving, compassionate boy. Would be interested hearing from others with ODD children. Thanks! |
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| Dianna Kelly ^^^ - foreverirish@juno.com - 27 | | Comments - I don't know where to begin, I grew up in a very violent household, but it had be very hush hush, if the police or juditial got involved, you ran the risk of having all family members dismis you
or just get kicked out with no where to go. I was not aloud to have a voice, until I became a parent. I work very hard to make sure she has a voice in disscussions, and is able to say no, when she doesn't want. I also try to punish by "time-out", ratherthan the back of a stick. I was diognoised with an illness and now my biggest fear is will she have to relive the struggles in and out if hospitals, suicide attempts almost succeeding, and the separation from everyone.
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| bethany - touchmenot_2002@cs.com - 35 | | Comments - We live in a very remote location. Our school is small-only 250-300 students in grade school and high school combined. Teacher misconduct,(or legalized child abuse), and administrative misconduct, are an every day occurance. I've done everything I'm supposed to do to rectify the situation: speaking with the teacher, principal, superintendant, and I even went to the school board. And I must add that I ONLY went to these people when my kid was cursed, slapped, or threatened. If a parent calls the school to complain, their child will be picked on in class by the teacher. This misconduct is allowed because most of the teachers are related, and lie to defend each other. The children suffer for this. It is an outrage! The state dept. of education, has even had to call the school about illegal things they were doing. Grade tampering is another illegal act done by these teachers. I would like to know if any other parents have had similar experiences. |
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| heather carl - cmheather1@uswest.net - 25 | | Comments - |
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| Judy Fraser - jlf@nsis.com - 56 | | Comments - My son is 30 years old, and I watch him die, hands tied because the age says adult but the pain says child. He talks from a place I do not know, a place where voices convince him all is not right in his world, he screams at the voice to leave him alone, but it hasn't left him over this past ten years. He has chosen to medicate his pain in drugs, I understand his fear, but to watch your own life blood die, without even being able to hold him, as I once did, telling him there were no monsters, everything was alright and the person that once did the holding is now his enemy, now thought of as the monster because he fears me, I am a part of the plot against him. I have never felt so helpless, so unable to help the one person who I would give my life if he could have a life. |
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| Tres Basse - Tres@texas.net - | | Comments - The Wooden Bowl: A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law and a four year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at table, but the elderly grandfathers' shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult.
Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
"We must do something about Grandfather, " said the son. "I' ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.....!!!!"
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There the grandfather ate alone, while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since the grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes they saw a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four year old watched it all in silence. Then one evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four year old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. No words were spoken, but tears streamed down their cheeks, and both knew what must be done.
That evening, the husband took the grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb.
Remember the saying "Children are like sponges, they absorb everything and anything that is put in front of them." "WHAT KIND OF AN EXAMPLE ARE WE SETTING?"
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| tiffiany - tiff16@1607.com - 18 | | Comments - if you have milk coming out your breast do that mean you are pregancy |
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| Vicky - VNeed10206@aol.com - 45 | | Comments - You can't control the wind, but you CAN set your sails.
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| Peanuts - tburns@edmc.net - 45 | | Comments - Please add to your resources the fantastic site
www.empathicparenting.org
They also have a paper magazine full of parenting and social issues to make the world a better and safer and less abusive place for kids. |
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| chris - danda@sonic.net - 48 | | Comments - I am bipolar. My 13 year old son just got suspended from school for coming to school stoned. I feel like somehow I have failed him. I want to protect him from the ugly parts of life, addiction being a big one in my family. I don't know how to deal with the issue. He doesn't like to 'talk'. I just want to stuff him back in the womb, all 6' of him. I know he is afraid of failure, although he is a bright, athletic kid. I want to give him things that I don't even have, self esteem, joy, peace. Can anyone help? |
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| ILYSE - K9@EPIX.NET - 31 | | Comments - I LEARN EVERYDAY FROM MY CHILDREN, I ONLY HOPE I CAN GIVE THEM BACK AS MUCH AS THEY GIVE TO ME!!! |
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| Cathy Hiltz - INFO@ENDADDICTION.CA - - MOTHER OF 4 GROWN CHILDREN - | | Comments - F E A – F A M I L I E S O F E X- A D D I C T S
5794-4 Highway # 7 East, Suite 331, Markham, Ontario L3P 1B9 905-294-1956
We are proud to announce the opening of FEA (or Families of Ex-Addicts).
We are a not-for-profit organization founded by a family of an ex-addict who is now living drug free. Our son and brother was addicted to cocaine for 4 years. He now works in a rehab centre is a counselor to other drug addicts.
FEA’s mission is to reach families in crisis and offer help and support. We are trained to handle these issues. We produce a bi-monthly newsletter, which addresses symptoms of drug abuse and profiles an illegal drug each issue. In each publication, we will address issues such as; what the drug consists of, how to spot the signs of use and what it does to the body. We rely heavily on skilled professionals and base ALL of our information on recognized research and studies.
Our mission is to provide information and support for families and the addict they love.
We have witnessed first hand how drugs can affect whole families and not only the loved one on drugs but it also affects their siblings, parents and grandparents.
We understand the hopelessness of watching your son or daughter decline into further destructive behaviour because of drugs. Your feelings of anger, frustration and fear are natural. Knowledge is always the best weapon in any fight. We have the knowledge. We can help you.
Drugs are not only a big city, urban problem. Even in small towns where you might think your children are safe, drug use is at epidemic proportions.
Each issue, we will bring you up-to-date information on drugs, new findings and hope to equip each of you with tools to cope with your loved one’s addiction.
Our toll free telephone number is 1-866-296-6531 and our website has an assessment form attached www.endaddiction.ca This will enable the family, with complete confidentiality, to answer the questionnaire and once submitted, be in contact with a trained professional who will assist in getting help for their loved one.
At FEA, we listen, and we CAN help you. Don’t wait any longer, take action. Get control back!
To receive a copy of our newsletter, please call or write to us at the number and address above.
If you would like to make a contribution to FEA, please send your cheque or money-order to the above address. We will send you a tax receipt in return.
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| Cathy Hiltz - INFO@ENDADDICTION.CA - - MOTHER OF 4 GROWN CHILDREN - | | Comments - F E A – F A M I L I E S O F E X- A D D I C T S
5794-4 Highway # 7 East, Suite 331, Markham, Ontario L3P 1B9 905-294-1956
We are proud to announce the opening of FEA (or Families of Ex-Addicts).
We are a not-for-profit organization founded by a family of an ex-addict who is now living drug free. Our son and brother was addicted to cocaine for 4 years. He now works in a rehab centre is a counselor to other drug addicts.
FEA’s mission is to reach families in crisis and offer help and support. We are trained to handle these issues. We produce a bi-monthly newsletter, which addresses symptoms of drug abuse and profiles an illegal drug each issue. In each publication, we will address issues such as; what the drug consists of, how to spot the signs of use and what it does to the body. We rely heavily on skilled professionals and base ALL of our information on recognized research and studies.
Our mission is to provide information and support for families and the addict they love.
We have witnessed first hand how drugs can affect whole families and not only the loved one on drugs but it also affects their siblings, parents and grandparents.
We understand the hopelessness of watching your son or daughter decline into further destructive behaviour because of drugs. Your feelings of anger, frustration and fear are natural. Knowledge is always the best weapon in any fight. We have the knowledge. We can help you.
Drugs are not only a big city, urban problem. Even in small towns where you might think your children are safe, drug use is at epidemic proportions.
Each issue, we will bring you up-to-date information on drugs, new findings and hope to equip each of you with tools to cope with your loved one’s addiction.
Our toll free telephone number is 1-866-296-6531 and our website has an assessment form attached www.endaddiction.ca This will enable the family, with complete confidentiality, to answer the questionnaire and once submitted, be in contact with a trained professional who will assist in getting help for their loved one.
At FEA, we listen, and we CAN help you. Don’t wait any longer, take action. Get control back!
To receive a copy of our newsletter, please call or write to us at the number and address above.
If you would like to make a contribution to FEA, please send your cheque or money-order to the above address. We will send you a tax receipt in return.
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| Lee Wills - leewills@worldnet.att.net - 27 | | Comments - I have a 5 year old son who is bipolor and has been on med's for 2 years. Some days are soooo hard. I love him more then life itself, but we live in a rural area and there are not any support groups or special schools that I can find. If anyone can help,please e-mail. |
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| ldavies - kellybear@bendcable.com - 62 | | Comments - The ABC’s of Parenting
By Leah Davies, M.Ed.
A. Accept and value yourself and your child.
B. Be consistent, honest, fair, and firm as you relate to your child.
C. Concentrate on what you like about your child and comment on it.
D. Develop interests of your own.
E. Encourage your child to discuss ideas and goals, expressing the belief that he or she can do many things well.
F. Forgive your child's mistakes, which are a natural part of learning.
G. Gladly share your time, affection, and support.
H. Help your child feel safe and secure.
I. nterest your child in work by complimenting his or her efforts.
J. Joyfully take pleasure in life.
K. Keep harsh criticisms to yourself; avoid using "should" and "ought."
L. Let your child experience the results of his or her behavior.
M. Model by example those qualities you want your child to have.
N. Negotiate privileges and responsibilities, avoid overindulgence.
O. Offer some choices, allowing your child to make decisions.
P. Problem-solve with your child, listening carefully to his or her thoughts and feelings.
Q. Quit blaming, shaming, and threatening.
R. Respect your child's right to grow at his or her own rate without being pushed or compared to others.
S. Share household tasks among all family members so that your child makes a contribution and feels a sense of belonging.
T. Take time to read with your child, thus instilling a love of books and learning.
U. Use a photo album to record pleasant family memories.
V. Value honesty, kindness, dependability, truthfulness and caring.
W. Weather trials together as a family.
X. eXamine your attitude toward your child.
Y. Yield to professional advice concerning healthy living habits.
Z. Zestfully participate in a variety of family traditions and activities.
Used by permission of the author, Leah Davies, and selected from the Kelly Bear website [www.kellybear.com].
For five other parenting articles, twenty-four teacher articles and seven Kid's Pages see www.kellybear.com. |
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| ldavies - kellybear@bendcable.com - 62 | | Comments - The ABC’s of Parenting
By Leah Davies, M.Ed.
A. Accept and value yourself and your child.
B. Be consistent, honest, fair, and firm as you relate to your child.
C. Concentrate on what you like about your child and comment on it.
D. Develop interests of your own.
E. Encourage your child to discuss ideas and goals, expressing the belief that he or she can do many things well.
F. Forgive your child's mistakes, which are a natural part of learning.
G. Gladly share your time, affection, and support.
H. Help your child feel safe and secure.
I. nterest your child in work by complimenting his or her efforts.
J. Joyfully take pleasure in life.
K. Keep harsh criticisms to yourself; avoid using "should" and "ought."
L. Let your child experience the results of his or her behavior.
M. Model by example those qualities you want your child to have.
N. Negotiate privileges and responsibilities, avoid overindulgence.
O. Offer some choices, allowing your child to make decisions.
P. Problem-solve with your child, listening carefully to his or her thoughts and feelings.
Q. Quit blaming, shaming, and threatening.
R. Respect your child's right to grow at his or her own rate without being pushed or compared to others.
S. Share household tasks among all family members so that your child makes a contribution and feels a sense of belonging.
T. Take time to read with your child, thus instilling a love of books and learning.
U. Use a photo album to record pleasant family memories.
V. Value honesty, kindness, dependability, truthfulness and caring.
W. Weather trials together as a family.
X. eXamine your attitude toward your child.
Y. Yield to professional advice concerning healthy living habits.
Z. Zestfully participate in a variety of family traditions and activities.
Used by permission of the author, Leah Davies, and selected from the Kelly Bear website [www.kellybear.com].
For five other parenting articles, twenty-four teacher articles and seven Kid's Pages see www.kellybear.com. |
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| Dana Dillard - dillard_dana@yahoo.com - 52 | | Comments - |
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| Sandeep - sandeep529@rediffmail.com - 20 | | Comments - i am indian boy. i wants american girl for marriage. |
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| Michelle Fitch - m.fitch1@ntlworld.com - 28 | | Comments - We hope you can share with us at www.abusedbythesystem.org.uk your experiences as a parent,so with our prayers and thanks.Thank you. |
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| Alexandra - - | | Comments - I've had a lot of parenting struggles. And I'm still growing and changing, and pray my children will benefit from it. I invite you to read of our journey in the article, "Confessions of a Failed Babywiser."
http://www.ezzo.info/Voices/failed.htm
(Yes, we followed that blasted Babywise program by Gary Ezzo.) |
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| amy - nibblenow2003@yahoo.com - 30 | | Comments - i am tring that is all i can do. i am raising a 1 year old all by myself. i am sick but i will make it for her. i could not love her anymore. so we will make it. |
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| sfdsdf - paul@web-hed.com - sdf | | Comments - dsf |
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| Caroline - caroline.stopher@ntlworld.com - 30 | | Comments - Everyday, i get up, and see to 2 children aged 2 and 6. I love them more than life. I'm a depressive. But, i have survived sexual abuse as a child as well as mental abuse most of my life. I have watched my mum die of cancer. I have lost a brother through suicide. I am not a strong person, but i have a fab hubby that supports me. On really low days, i put on happy music, really loud, and dance around with my kids till we are all collapsing with laughter, its a great pick me up.
I am not a super mum. And i don't want to be, but i do try to be a good enough parent, and at the end of the day, when they are both happy and content, i feel better. You have to find the balance of what you need to do as a parent, and what you need to stay on top of life |
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| Fliss - felicityjfreeman@yahoo.com.au - 29 | | Comments - Post-natal depression is something to work at while your children grow and dissolving the difficulties does occur in small steps. I am grateful for my children but urge everyone to continue to seek support which is vital for recovery. |
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| Kristen B. - bearsrus@pikeonline.net - 32 | | Comments - Where to begin? My 9 year old daughter is a handful. I'm lost with what to do. She won't sleep at night without me. She needs to be by my side every minute. I just don't want to feel so alone! |
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| Gina T - gkcenterprises112@verizon.net - 53 | | Comments - QUESTION: There are all kinds of chat rooms regarding abused kids, but I need one for abused parents! My 3 adult "sons" have literally thrown me out of their lives. One has also been very cruel, cursing me, and deriving great pleasure out of my suffering. I have not seen him for 3 years. Another does not want any contact with me unless I completely acept his lifestyle, which I can't do. The last has recently stopped contacting me because of the stress he feels of being put in the midde. of things the others have said about me. I don't tell this to anyone because the natural assumption is that I was a horrible mother in some way, and this is the result of it. I wish that were the case because at least then I could know that I deserve this. The truth is I was an exceptional mother. I did not have a good marriage and that caused some friction in the home until we divorced. |
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| Barb - barbif@charter.net - 39 | | Comments - It is not the disability itself, it is how we react to it! |
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| Barb - barbaaatool@hotmail.com - 39 | | Comments - Just Remember,
"If you woke up breathing, CONGRATULATIONS, you have another chance!!!".....MAXINE |
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| Suzi - - 32 | | Comments - Sometimes when it's all you can do to keep yourself alive, the most loving thing you can do for your child is to put them in the competent, caring hands of someone you trust until the crisis is over. Unfortunately, there are those in this world who will use this as an excuse to condemn and critize. It's a horrible feeling, especially when the most critical voice is that "caring" soul you have entrusted w/your child, and who is supposed to be your own mother... But I will make it through this, too, and my son & I will be stronger for it in the end... If I lose faith in this, then all will truly be lost. Wish me luck w/ my struggle, as I surely do for all of you... |
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| Michelle Gauthier - micgauthier@aol.com - 34 | | Comments - I am a single mother of a 10 yr old boy. He is loving, caring and makes me laugh every day. It's those times when he seems to lose control of his temper, his words, his sense of direction that worries me. He is seeing a counselor who says he has anger problems but other thatn that is fine. He is fine around others but with just me he is completely different. 90% of the day he can't sit. He is always moving, always talking or humming or signing. Is this normal? I am a quiet, relaxed person. He is not and we bump heads. Can anyone tell me if extra energy is okay? |
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| Michelle Jackson - mirasa70@yahoo.com - 35 | | Comments - I have been blessed to have a 12 year old daughter named Julia. My main goal in my life today is to raise her along with my fiance (at the moment) to be a productive and healthy minded woman. i am glad I found this wall. I could always use advise on parenting a 12 year old. I have no problems with her right now, but she can be a "load" sometimes. |
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| Michelle Jackson - mirasa70@yahoo.com - 35 | | Comments - I have been blessed to have a 12 year old daughter named Julia. She is ADHD.My main goal in my life today is to raise her along with my fiance (at the moment) to be a productive and healthy minded woman. i am glad I found this wall. I could always use advise on parenting a 12 year old. I have no problems with her right now, but she can be a "load" sometimes. |
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| Jewel - diamondejewels@yahoo.com - 17 | | Comments - I am a 17 yaer single seeking advice on single parenting |
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| Alyson - ahunsick@yahoo.ca - 28 | | Comments - I love my daughter. I say this after telling her to shut up and cuffing my hand over her mouth to quiet her. She just started throwing a tantrem for no reason and was going to wake up the baby. Why was I so mad? because it kills me that she does not listen to me. That I'm not the wise mom that I want to be. That I'm not a role model for her,and that I'm failing as a mother. If I was a good mother she would hang on to every word I say. Absorb it. soak it in. But she doesn't. She is getting more and more defiant with everything, and I'm grasping at straws, trying to hold on to some sense of control. But it is me who is out of control. I'm sorry baby girl. I'm sorry because I really do love you and want the best for you. |
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| Melanie - mblitz100@yahoo.com - 54 | | Comments - I am a parent of a just diagnosed daughter, age 24. We need support on how to deal with her seperation from family and friends.. al of who support her getting well. We have very litte contact with her and would love hear from other parents with similiar ex periences. This is so hard! Melanie |
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| Shelley - scarlson1024@hotmail.com - 43 | | Comments - My wonderful bundles of joy. I doted on the first and didn't want the second (resented my husband for first 10 years of her life). How can you ever get those so precious moments back (why didn't I realize that she was just as special and wonderful as he was), now she cuts herself and calls me names. She has every right to be angry. How do you ever say you are sorry? |
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