Triumphant
Journey:
A Cyberguide To Stop Overeating and
Recover from Eating Disorders
Secrets go beyond food behavior. Overeaters often try to
give themselves a sense of power, thrills or feelings of superiority. They may
buy things beyond their resources. They may have secret sexual relationships.
They may flee a relationship if they suspect the person sees through their
eating pretenses or is aware of their buying or sexual binges.
If any of these secrets apply to you, then you know about
the darker side of secret keeping. You get scared. You cry or shake in the
dark. You occasionally isolate yourself until you feel there is not a soul who
cares about you. You feel helpless and angry regularly.
You make private, wild promises about changing, but
can't. You binge on food or other activities until you feel drugged. You may be
hung over for days.
You won't tell anyone about this secret personal hell
you're living. You make complaints of being ill. You may accept or expect
caretaking and feel profoundly sad when it is not enough.
Now we are entering the vast areas of secrets you do not
know about yourself. Here are major signals that you are entering a secret
territory within yourself. You yell, cry, plead or become stone silent with
someone while feeling self-righteous.
This may be a familiar and recurring scene, yet you may
not wish to know how you contribute to create it. You may not wish to know how
your troubled-eating practices and binge behaviors cause many problems in your
life.
You can succeed in not knowing. You have for a long time.
To explore how you create some of your troubles would
bring you uncomfortably close to your unknown inner secrets.
What are these secrets? What is the darkness from which
they arise? Letting your curiosity come forth will help you tolerate your
feelings as you explore the possible roots of your inner secrets.
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