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Good Mood
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Ways to Overcome Depression
Conquering Depression, Enjoying Life
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Good Mood:
The New Psychology
of Overcoming Depression
Chapter 17
Ways To Stop Feeling Helpless and Hopeless
Self-comparisons constitute the choke point for
depressing thoughts. They are the final common path through which all
depressing forces exert their influence. And if the person feels helpless to
improve her situation, the sense of helplessness combines with the negative
self-comparisons to cause sadness and depression rather than a state of
mobilized activity or an angry mood; this description has been repeated many
times earlier in this book because it is the core mechanism of depression. This
short chapter briefly discusses the sense of helplessness, and how to fight
it.(1)
Getting Back Hope
Negative self-comparisons (neg-comps) by
themselves do not necessarily make you sad. Instead, you may get angry, or you
may mobilize yourself to change your state of affairs. But a helpless, hopeless
attitude along with neg-comps leads to sadness and depression. This has
even been shown in well-known rat experiments.(2) Rats which have experienced
unavoidable electric shocks later behave with less fight, and more depression,
with respect to electric shocks that they can avoid than do rats that
did not previously experience unavoidable shocks. The rats which experienced
unavoidable shocks also show chemical changes associated with depression
similar to humans. It behooves us, then, to consider how one can mitigate the
helpless feeling.
People as well as rats learn general attitudes
about their capacity to act effectively, which then affect their outlook on
specific situations. When I was an infant, my parents put me into a large
box-like structure hung outside a second-floor window, well-checked by an
architect friend for safety. In accord with the theory of the times, they
taught me independence by refusing to accede to my cries when I sought
attention and company. Throughout my life, I have had a predisposition not to
ask others for help such as advice, and support within institutions, because I
assumed that help would not be forthcoming. It is entirely possible that my
attitude of not expecting help from people, stems from my experiences outside
the window as a child, probably accompanied by a general attitude on the part
of my parents of making me go it alone. On the other hand, I have always had
the feeling that I could master my physical and mental circumstances with
study, hard work, and patience so as to make my living situation comfortable
and convenient, and my intellectual problems superable, and to make do with my
own company. In such fashion are lifelong attitudes acquired with respect to
capability and helplessness.
One obvious tactic is to realize that you are
not helpless and you can change your actual state of affairs so
that the comparison will be less negative. Sometimes this requires gradual
re-learning through a graded series of tasks which show you that you can be
successful, eventually leading to success in tasks that at the beginning seemed
overwhelmingly difficult to you. This is the rationale of many behavioral
programs that teach people to overcome their fears of going out in public, of
heights, of various social situations, and so on.
Indeed, the rats mentioned above which first
learned to be helpless when given inescapable shocks afterwards were taught by
experimenters to learn that they could escape the later shocks, and they
thereby showed diminished chemical changes associated with depression. The
underlying assumption of "learned helplessness" is that if a
depressive learns to feel more capable and less helpless, she will be less
prone to sadness and depression, because her neg-comps will then be accompanied
by purposeful activity to change them.
It is not always clear just how capable
people ought to feel. Sometimes vacationers are told that they are
capable of swimming across a body of water which they are not capable of
swimming, and hence they drown. Sometimes students are told they are capable of
mastering programs which are too much for them, and hence they fail painfully.
People's situations are not always like the situations of the laboratory rats
which have been taught to act as if they are helpless when in fact they are
able to escape from the shocks they receive.
External conditions may dictate that the
individual is indeed helpless to improve a particular neg-comp. A 55-year old
tennis player cannot realistically hope to improve his speed afoot to again
beat the younger partner who has just begun to beat him.
Exhaustion and ill health also restrict a
person's possibilities for improving one's situation. It is thoroughly
reasonable that lack of energy and sad feelings often keep company.
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