Being a Child of a Bipolar Parent Isn't a Rollercoaster Ride

(February 2, 2006) -- Actor Sean Astin knows what bipolar disorder can do to a person. His mother, actress Patty Duke, was diagnosed as bipolar in 1982 when she was 35. This was after she'd already suffered a lifetime of inexplicable euphoric highs and rock-bottom lows that characterize bipolar lives. As she once wrote, "I'd cry, it seemed, for years at a time."

Astin was 11 years old when her tantrums and mood swings were finally diagnosed, and now he's campaigning to raise awareness of the disorder, particularly how friends and family can help diagnose it.

"Family members are often times the first to really start to notice the early symptoms of the mania," Astin says. Astin -- whose resume includes "The Goonies," "Lord of the Rings" and, today, "24" -- spoke to A.M. NewYork about bipolar disorder.

Q: Can you talk about what your mother was like before she was diagnosed? A: As it relates to her bipolar mood disorder, there were times when she was incredibly depressed and suicidal. She would stay in her bedroom for days on end, it seemed to me as a kid. There were times during her manic episodes when she was violent and erratic and screaming and throwing pots and pans. I actually have a very good feeling about my childhood, but during those extreme periods, it was terrifying and disconcerting and lonely and scary.

Q: Being so young, did you tend to justify her behavior as normal? Or did you sense she was unhappy?
A: I probably had a generalized discomfort at her unhappiness and fury, but there was no real language for communicating that. If she did something that was irrational or broke things that were special to me, the next day she would try and make up for it, or over-make up for it, crying and apologizing and buying other things. So there was never any question that she loved me. But it was pretty clear that whatever was wrong was something that was wrong with her, so I never felt responsible for it or anything.

Q: Do you remember visibly seeing the difference once she was diagnosed?
A: She was very relieved when she was diagnosed, from day one. She was so happy to know there was a name to what she was experiencing. But that doesn't mean everything was better. We've had to learn throughout 25 years of life since then how to relate to one another. It's a process that is sometimes very effective, and sometimes we struggle. And some of that has to do with her bipolar condition, and some of it has to do with life and issues. Separating out what is a personality trait from something that's a mood disorder, a chemical imbalance, is very difficult to do.

Q: It must be difficult to breach the subject of bipolar disorder with a loved one.
A: It's incredibly difficult, because you're pointing out to somebody something about them that isn't right, and people wanna be right. So using the phrase bipolar might not be the most effective tool. I wish there was some handbook saying this is exactly the way you do it.

Q: Why have you decided to become so vocal on this matter now?
A: Ever since our mother's been diagnosed -- and I was already in the public light as a kid at that point anyway --I've fielded questions about the issue. But I have not ever before the last six months seriously investigated what bipolar disorder is. And I sort of regret that a little bit. I'd always been sympathetic to her, but being sympathetic is not the same thing as being informed. … That's why we launched this Web site, learnaboutbipolar.com. It's one place to get information that will help. There's actually a mood questionnaire that people can fill out that helps start that process of developing a language and thinking about behavior and patterns. There's things in there that list a lot of the symptoms, like racing thoughts and promiscuity and erratic spending and anger and irritability.

Q: Was depression a bigger stigma at the time your mother was diagnosed?
A: There's no question. The stigma still exists, but in a much different kind of form. My sense was that back then, it was kind of synonymous with being told you're one step from the funny farm, or you're gonna be locked in the padded cell. Now there's no sting to it, but there's also a lack of real understanding about what it is.

Q: Should family and friends be more involved with doctors in helping to diagnose bipolar?
A: The answer is a qualified yes. The only thing I would qualify is you used the word should, and the word should suggests a deputizing of family members. The answer is undeniably yes. That's kind of the purpose of our campaign, that family and friends and co-workers are often times the people who notice these behaviors early, and people sometimes don't wanna acknowledge what their behaviors are.

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Q: Having grown up for a while with an unhappy parent, do you think you're more precious about the happiness of your own life and family?
A: I should be. I remember her describing [her pain] at one point as "my heart physically hurts," and it wasn't my heart hurts from angina. She was in anguish. I'm committed to achieving what I want with my life. Sometimes I don't know what that is, and it's really frustrating and can be agonizing at times, but it's different for my mom. She had it worse. I think I'm better.

Q: How is the TV thing going?
A: Phew. I thought I knew what I was getting into, but people LOVE that show ["24"]. I walk through the airport and people are stopping me to thank me for saving the day. I have to remind them that I only saved one hour, there's still a rest of the day to play out on that show.

Source: A.M. NewYork

Last updated: 2/0666

Related Information:

• Bipolar Disorder A Daily Struggle For Patients, Families
• Effects on Family
• The Role of Family and Friends
• Twelve Things to Do If Your Friend of Loved One Has Bipolar Disorder
• Bipolar Patients Show Differences in MRI
• Brain Damage From Bipolar Disorder
• What Causes Bipolar Disorder?
• How to Diagnose Bipolar and Similar Conditions
• Bipolar Disorder in Children: How Common Is it?
• Bipolar is a Serious Psychiatric Condition
• APA 2004 Mtg. Report: New Research on Biological Psychiatry and Psychopharmacology
• How To Survive Bipolar Disorder
• Family-Focused Therapy Helps Bipolar Patients Cope

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