Bipolar Disorder and the Holidays
Does someone you love have bipolar disorder? Help them have happier
holidays with these tips.
(November 14, 2006) -- If you have a loved one with
bipolar disorder,
the holidays come with a lot of anxiety. You never quite know what to
expect. But by being open and planning ahead, there are many
ways to
help your loved one -- and that can make the holidays happier for
everyone.
-
Be direct. This is by far the most
important suggestion when helping a loved with bipolar disorder. Don't
just guess at how you can help; sit down and talk with your loved one.
Ask what you can do. Ask how you can check in on them without being
intrusive. Preferably, do it early -- aim for late October, says Ellen
Frank, PhD, director of the depression and manic depression prevention
program at the University of Pittsburgh's Western Psychiatric Institute
and Clinic.
-
Think about what's worked in the past
and what hasn't. Try to recreate the aspects of past holidays that
have worked and avoid those that haven't, says Raymond L. Crowel, PsyD,
of the National Mental Health Association. For instance, if you see an
unpleasant pattern -- like a happy holiday party that usually devolves
into a nasty fight in the late evening -- reschedule things. Plan your
dinner for earlier in the day and end the party before things typically
go awry.
-
Offer to help. If your loved one
with bipolar disorder is hosting a family dinner, pitch in early. He or
she may really need assistance in planning it from the start. Once you
get close to the actual date, arrive early to help with final
preparations.
-
Pare down the guest list. A huge
family gathering may be overwhelming for a person with bipolar disorder.
If you're hosting, think about planning something more modest this year,
especially if there are specific family members who tend to trigger mood
swings in your loved one. In order to make it up to the people you
didn't invite, get together with them after your loved one with bipolar
disorder has left.
-
Change the venue. If holidays have
been difficult for your loved one in the past, try mixing things up.
Plan a holiday dinner out or a day at the movies. A change in routine
could help keep everyone from falling into familiar patterns.
-
Think about limiting alcohol. If
your loved one with bipolar disorder has
problems with alcohol, find
ways to de-emphasize it. "Some families decide that if a person has been
having trouble with alcohol, they will have an alcohol-free holiday that
year," says Michael E. Thase, MD, professor of psychiatry at the
University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.
-
Offer a place to go during a party.
If you're hosting a get-together, offer your loved one a place to
retreat to during the party if things get too intense. Having a place to
unwind for a few minutes by lying down, reading, or watching television
may make him or her much more relaxed.
-
Don't forget about your own needs.
If you sacrifice everything for your loved one with bipolar disorder,
you may just wind up unhappy and resentful. So try to
strike a balance
between what your loved one wants and what you want.
Accept your limitations too. No matter what you do, you can't
single-handedly keep another person safe and happy -- whether they're coping
with bipolar disorder or any other condition. Make sure to get help from
other family members. You may benefit from seeing a therapist to help you
tackle some of these difficult issues.
By R. Morgan Griffinn
Sources: Raymond L. Crowel, PsyD, vice president, mental
health and substance abuse services, National Mental Health Association (NMHA),
Alexandria, Va. Ellen Frank, PhD, director, depression and manic depression
prevention program, Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, University of
Pittsburgh, Pittsburg, Pa. Michael E. Thase, MD, professor of psychiatry,
University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, Pittsburg.
Last updated: 12/06
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