A Mood Chart System

Most of the self-help books, as well as my psych, suggest that I keep a mood chart. I wasn't satisfied with any of the ones I saw, particularly since they did not distinguish between feeling emotionally stable and being functional.

The difference between the two, I found out, was that it was quite possible to be quite manic and still be fully functional. Or mildly depressed and functional.

I have used the moods charts to show my family that when they thought I was normal (i.e. functional), I wasn't emotionally stable. It came as quite a shock to them often because they couldn't detect anything wrong with me.

I have never been able to keep a mood chart for more than 4-6 weeks (3 weeks or less was normal), as my depression usually derails my ability to keep records. Nevertheless, the records I did keep were sufficient to allow me to chart my hypomanic / depressive cycles. And to allow me to realize that I had no periods of normality (until Sep 99).

The two scales are as follows:

EMOTIONAL SCALE - how I feel

1. True terrible depression. I have only been here on the days I disappear.
2. Really low confidence. I don't want to leave the house or talk with people, but I manage with great effort.
3. Living through the day hurts. Everything appears insurmountable. I have low self confidence and it affects everything I do.
4. I find it hard to think and I am sluggish. I don't really want to try hard to do anything. Lower end of a very bad day for a normal person.
5. A bad hair day.
6. NORMAL. Functioning how I imagine a normal person would.
7. Good day. Lot's accomplished.
8. Feeling great. A little too much accomplished, but not too much hyperactivity. Upper end of a great day for a normal person.
9. Definitely hyperactive / manic. Still functional, but remaining in control requires control.
10. Hyperactive and not too much control. I require most of my energy to control myself, not too much left over for being functional.
11. True mania. So far I have never had a true manic episode.

PRODUCTIVITY SCALE - how I act

1. Productive / functionality below that of anything a normal person would do.
2. A really bad day for a normal person.
3. Things below par.
4. NORMAL. What you would expect from a normal person.
5. Good to great day
6. Much accomplished but too much to be normal.

In addition to my emotions and my productivity, I kept track of the medication I was taking. I've found out that minor changes in medication can make big changes in how I felt, so tracking dosages was useful. And embarrassing as it was, tracking when I didn't take medication was useful.

The easiest place to chart the information is in a diary. Using a numerical scale as above allowed me to scan the diary to find out how I had been feeling and how functional I had been.

I could have charted the information on a graph using the simple squared (or graph) paper in any arithmetic copy book. However since my full cycle was only two weeks it was plainly visible just by scanning the diary. Those of you with longer cycles might have to graph the information to see any patterns.

I often skipped entries on my more hypomanic or depressed days, but I would usually go back and fill them in when I was more stable. On the days or stretches of days when there were no entries, I would just tell myself that I am doing my best and then not feel guilty about the empty entries.

The next page shows one month of my mood chart.