How not to solve an addiction

Question:

My husband has been compulsively gambling for about two years (maybe more as I was slow on the uptake). Can you give me some ideas of ways I and other family members can support his recovery? He promises never to gamble again and then disappears for several days, gambling and losing all resources available to him. He then calls or comes back home in a very upset state of mind, and appears to have extremely low self esteem "after the fact".

Thanks,

Terry

Stanton's Answer:

Dear Terry:

Has your family had problems in the past? If you read my web site, you will see that I don't think addictions just happen, that people show up one day acting addictively in the absence of prior problems and current family difficulties. Describing an addiction strictly in terms of the addiction and expecting to solve it is how they approach problems on the "Sally" show, where they ask a 15-year-old drop out with three children why she allows her boyfriend to push her around. Or, this is how the head of the NIAAA, Enoch Gordis, thinks you can treat alcoholism.

Stanton

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