Briefly, gender influences the types of applications and underlying reasons
for Internet addiction. Men tend to seek out dominance and sexual fantasy
on-line, while women seek out close friendships, romantic partners, and
prefer anonymous communication in which to hide their appearance. It seems
to be a natural conclusion that attributes of gender played out in Cyberspace
parallel the stereotypes men and women have in our society.
MEN:
Men more than women seemed to enjoy interactive on-line games which draw
upon power and dominance. These on-line games differ from video games in
that characters interact with one another allowing all the players to recognize
each other’s rank. A character’s rank is formed as a player gains
more strength and power through continued play time. Characters’ holding
top level ranks earn recognition and respect from other players. Not only
is status achieved through these games, but more often men seek to dominant
other players as characters have the power to blow up, stab, shoot, and
kill other players in a game. Men seem to enjoy the aspects of violence
and dominance in such interactive games.
Cybersex is another area men seemed more attracted to than women. To
give a brief background on how Cybersex is achieved, let me explain more
about the types through chat areas which exist on-line. The development
of social interaction of virtual chat rooms allows people to converse with
one another about a variety of topics. Some chat rooms are very sedate
and dedicated exclusively to a particular topic such as sports, the stock
market, or travel. In other cases, theme rooms become highly sexual and
one enters such a room with that understanding as there is little way to
misinterpret room titles such as "SubM4F" "HungBlM4F"
or "MarriedM4Affair." While men and women alike enter such rooms
exclusively looking for erotic chat, predominantly men remarked how addictive
such sexual entertainment was to them. Married and single men alike discussed
in great detail why Cybersex was so thrilling to them. The addiction grows
from the ability to cruise such chat rooms looking for uninhibited Cybersex
- things they would never do or say with their wives! One man commented,
"I love my wife and I respect her too much to ever say such humiliating
things to her. But on-line, there are Cybersluts - women just wanting sex.
They don’t mind and even encourage me to use them in a sluttish way.
So, these women draw it out of me." Men also enjoyed the ability to
download available and easily accessible Cyberporn. X-rated Web pages provide
quick access to adult photos, moving video clips, 900 phone numbers of
available women complete with photo and sound clippings, and catalogs of
foreign women for marriage. In general, men were more openly drawn to the
sexually explicit material accessible through the Internet.
WOMEN:
Women more often than men commented on how they sought out support, acceptance,
and comfort through on-line relationships formed in chat rooms. Virtual
communities gave women a sense of belonging and the ability to share the
company of others in a non-threatening environment. Like Cindy, a graphic
arts designer from Denver told me "I love the idea that I was able
to make such close friends on-line. These people offered me so much strength,
especially when I started my diet. When I was struggling to stay on it
(the diet), I jumped on-line and asked for help. So many of my on-line
friends were there to help me - it was so encouraging."
As men tended to look more for Cybersex, women tended to look more for
romance in Cyberspace. In virtual chat areas such as "Romance Connection"
"Sweettalk" or "Candlelight Affair" a woman can meet
men to form intimate relationships. But like a soap opera, tender moments
with a romantic stranger can lead to passion and progress into sexual dialogue.
I should note that it is not unusual for women to engage in random Cybersex,
but many times they preferred to form some type of relationship prior to
sexual chat.
Women more than men enjoyed the ability to hide their appearance from
others through anonymous electronic communication. The emphasis in American
culture for women to be slim, blonde, and proportionate makes women who
don’t fit these characteristics feel unattractive and fear rejection
from men based solely on their appearance. However, through anonymous on-line
communication, women have the chance to meet men without having to be seen
and judged. On-line, women can be overweight or just having a "bad
hair" day and not feel awkward about their appearance. Conversely,
attractive women also enjoy the benefit of meeting men without being judged
as a "piece of ass." As one woman put it, "Guys get to know
me for me, and they don’t just think of me just as a woman to get
into bed." For many attractive women who get hit upon in real life,
the ability to anonymously interact with men makes them feel as if they
are appreciated for their minds and not their bodies.
To learn more about gender differences, read Caught
in the Net, as it outlines specific cases of how men and women
differ when using the Internet.
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