Explaining excessively or projecting responsibility

Explaining excessively or projecting responsibility for my ownership onto someone else is not nurturing to myself or to the other person.

An explanation for my likes, dislikes, needs, thoughts, opinions, choices, and boundaries, for anyone who asks for an explanation to meet their needs, is:

• Because I like it or enjoy it. (and continue to restate it until it is acknowledged).
• Because I like to be around them or being with them. (and continue to restate it until it is acknowledged).
• I don't know. (and continue to restate it until it is acknowledged).
• Because I don't like it or that. (and continue to restate it until it is acknowledged).
• Because I don't like to be around them or I don't enjoy my time with them. (and continue to restate it until it is acknowledged).
• I don't know. (and continue to restate it until it is acknowledged).
• Because that's what I want or like. (and continue to restate it until it is acknowledged).
• Because that's what I think I need. (and continue to restate it until it is acknowledged).
• It's my opinion. (and continue to restate it until it is acknowledged).

In my explanations, I can choose to start from a non-victim standpoint. This way my explanations don't become attacks on the person requesting the information (for themselves to meet their needs). And I don't need to meet the needs of someone else by explaining, if I choose not to. Explanations are choices. Not requirements.

Be Prepared: A Word about Fear

I find that I'm usually "preparing" for something. A friend of mine said that "fear prepares us" for something that we think we need to do. Considering the amount of fear I keep living in, I find myself wondering "What is it that I'm preparing for?" In addition, "What circumstances have I created to keep myself in a preparatory state?" I'd really like to look at what's going on with me and a need I have to create fear. Most of my fears are reenactments of terror. I find myself creating or recreating the worst in my head, and then based on an assumption, prepare for the assumption of that outcome. I've quit giving freedom of choice to myself when I'm "preparing." In addition, I'm less prepared for the real outcome when it finally arrives.

My worst fears are of dying without a way to prevent it, being locked away in a place with no one willing to help me get out, feeling shamed for being myself, being forced to be an object of addiction, and feeling that I'll be rejected for having had done what I thought to be my best at the time (not feeling "good enough" to have myself or my work accepted as is).

I'm sure not all of these things exist as much as I think they exist. They might occur and they might not. Not knowing "for sure" is something I do to keep preparing. And, if the event occurs, is it true that I'd be better prepared if I prepared something to do ahead of time? I'm not sure. I don't think I'll be as prepared if I pre-prepare. When is the last time that something I've done turned out to be exactly as I prepared for it?

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