Category Archives: Abusive Behaviors

M’s Comment: …When I say…‘I am uncomfortable with that phrasing,’ … I am fine with explaining ‘That’s how I feel when I hear it’ [to own] my feelings [instead of labeling my children] etc. … But both my sons will then say … Continue reading

I feel ornery today. Woe to anyone who crosses me. You’ve been warned! During my marriage, I would have put on my boxing gloves on a day like today. I would check my s%*t-list, which always consisted of only my … Continue reading

I remember saying words to my ex-husband, Will, that didn’t help my abusive relationship or me at all. Will ignored them for the most part, but the tragedy is that I ignored them too. Here are the top five statements … Continue reading

I lived in an abusive relationship heart and soul for over 17 years. I’ve often wondered if the effects of abuse changed who I am permanently or temporarily. I run into trouble with this question because I was in the … Continue reading

Through much of our conversation together, we’ve discussed setting boundaries and telling your abuser what you will and won’t do when s/he behaves abusively. Today, I want you to realize that the words you speak are for you only. Your … Continue reading

Recently I received an email from a man who asked a very good question. He said, “A friend’s wife opened up to me about what I think is verbal abuse. She is talking about leaving him if things don’t change, … Continue reading

When I discovered the “problems” in my marriage were rooted in abuse, my very first emotion was relief. I felt relief because up until that moment of clarity, I thought that I was losing my mind. My husband almost had … Continue reading

You, the target of verbal abuse, have one mission in your efforts to end verbal abuse: keep your emotions in check. Your verbal abuser subscribes to the opposite mission. Your abuser wants you to lose emotional control because when that … Continue reading

I surfed the web this week and found a discussion in which yet another person said something to the effect of if an abuse victim chooses to stay and be abused, then it’s her fault she’s abused. Along those same … Continue reading

Staring at this blank space, waiting for me to write something, reminds me of my days of abuse. Each day could seem so clean and full of promise – the trick was, I had to expend energy to make it … Continue reading