• advertisement

Our Mental Health Blogs

What To Say To A Victim Of Domestic Violence

What To Say To A Victim Of Domestic Violence

So what do we say to a victim of domestic violence? More specifically, what should we say to a friend who is abused if they come to us for help? The confusion over what to say is warranted. Even my mother didn’t know what to say to me when I cried to her about the abuse, and my mother is brilliant. However, since I’ve been an abuser’s target, I have a good idea of what to say to a victim of domestic violence, and I’ll tell you all about it.

Continue reading

How to Live With Abuse: Connect With Your Intuition

How to Live With Abuse: Connect With Your Intuition

How do you live with abuse and learn to trust your intuition after distrusting yourself for so long? Why do you want to revive your intuition anyway? Here’s the deal: your abuser wants you isolated from everyone and anything (such as your intuition) that could convince you to leave the relationship.

You’ve learned how to live with abuse your partner’s way. It’s time to live with abuse a new way.

Continue reading

End Your Abusive Relationship By Trusting Your Intuition

End Your Abusive Relationship By Trusting Your Intuition

Wondering how to end your abusive relationship? There’s one way that requires no tools, no tears and no trust given to anyone but yourself. You see, trusting your intuition is like trusting that one friend who never lets you down (imagine that friend if you haven’t had one). Your intuition guides you through life safely when you develop and use it correctly.

And therein lies a problem: an abusive relationship disconnects you from your intuition. Abusers know that trusting your intuition will lead you away from their control pull, and eventually, your intuition can end your abusive relationship.

Continue reading

Top 10 Most Engaging Verbal Abuse in Relationships Blog Posts

Top 10 Most Engaging Verbal Abuse in Relationships Blog Posts

Last year, I did a top ten list of the most viewed Verbal Abuse in Relationships blog posts, so I thought I’d do something different this time. The posts on this list earned the largest percentage of comments per times viewed. If you missed them, perhaps you want to add your two cents. Readers tell me all the time they get as much from the comments as they get from the post, so share your experience so we can ALL benefit!

Many of these posts do not have many comments, but don’t let that deter you. This post isn’t about the largest number of comments. It is about the most comments per times viewed, or the most engagement from readers based on number of views.

Happy New Year and may 2014 be the beginning of something GREAT in your life!

Continue reading

How To Find Some Peace In An Abusive Relationship

How To Find Some Peace In An Abusive Relationship

I tried to write this post earlier today, but evidently there were some comments and stories I needed to read first. Stories from addicts, ministers and other abuse survivors reminded me of how much I used to fight my abuser. I fought with my ex-husband so often that I accepted some isolation to spare myself the embarrassment of fighting in front of his friends. At the end, I think every one of the people my ex hung out with knew that I couldn’t stand to look at him.

No wonder they believed his stories that I was miserable and unstable. I couldn’t open my mouth without something negative about my ex sliding out. My feelings for him surrounded me like a prickly heat and they made me seem like someone I was not. Ugly. Hateful. Mean. My feelings for my ex made it easy for his friends to feel sorry for him, give him a place to stay, and believe his side of whatever story he told.

Continue reading

Recovery From Domestic Abuse

Recovery From Domestic Abuse

I miss sharing my personal life with you all. HealthyPlace gives me a fantastic opportunity to educate about verbal abuse and domestic violence, but because I no longer suffer under those oppressions, I find it difficult to “go there” on this blog.

During my recovery from domestic violence and abuse, there have been many ups and downs. Life can be quite confusing when you use your OWN inner compass instead of relying on someone else to tell you what to do! So, in this post, I’d like to share some of the revelations and problems I’ve encountered since leaving my abusive husband.

Continue reading

Can A Verbal Abuser Change?

Can A Verbal Abuser Change?

Can a verbal abuser change? I’ve heard that question so many times and it is always delivered with a longing tone. Verbal abuse victims very much want their abuser to want to change. Some verbal abusers honestly do want to change. I don’t know how rare those types of abusers are, and there’s no way to know if your partner wants to change by listening to what they say because it is so easy to lie.

Continue reading

Am I Imagining The Abuse in My Relationship?

Am I Imagining The Abuse in My Relationship?

Is The Abuse In My Head?

So often, people ask me the question “is this abuse just in my head or is there a problem with my marriage?” Sure, sometimes things are just in our heads. Psychotic minds “see” bugs climbing out of walls where there are none (at least, no bugs that we non-psychotics can see), and the experience is as real to them as NOT seeing bugs is to us.

I suppose you could be imagining problems where there are none; you could be imagining abuse. But if you have no psychosis and, for example, do not see bugs climbing out of the walls, and outside of your relationship your judgments seem pretty sane, then I really doubt you are imagining the abuse.

Continue reading

Psalm 27 and Domestic Abuse

Psalm 27 and Domestic Abuse

Recently I had the opportunity to converse with a woman, Cathy, who lives with an abusive man. She didn’t know exactly where to start her story, but I noticed that “psalm27” was part of her email address.

I am familiar with the prayer because it gave me comfort during my days of living with an abusive man. Initially, Psalm 27 seemed to tell me to stay on track, that God sent trials my way for a reason. I came to understand it differently, and I’d like to share with you the email I sent to Cathy (with her permission of course, and with a few edits for clarity).

I don’t usually delve into religion or my lack of religion on this blog. I do not pretend to be a biblical scholar. However, God (by whatever name) and I are tight. I listen to The Voice – but sometimes my human mind doesn’t want to hear the real message at first.

Continue reading

Abuse Can Change A Victim’s True Nature

Abuse Can Change A Victim’s True Nature

A lifetime ago, as I sat on my bed unable to put my feet on the floor and get going, I cried to myself, “I am better than this! I deserve more than this!” I knew intellectually that my relationship with my husband Will caused me great harm, but I couldn’t quite get my emotions and my mind to align. My head told me to RUN, but my emotions cemented my feet in place. The best I could to get out of that bed was to tell myself that today I would get through to Will. Today would be the day I led Helen Keller to the water pump…today Will would understand. Today, my husband would change and we would break through the walls between us. Today I would get it right.

Continue reading


Follow Us

  • advertisement

in Verbal Abuse in Relationships Comments

Mental Health Newsletter

Sign up for the HealthyPlace mental health newsletter for latest news, articles, events.

Mental Health
Newsletter Subscribe Now!

Mental Health Newsletter

Sign up for the HealthyPlace mental health newsletter for latest news, articles, events.

Log in

Login to your account

Username *
Password *
Remember Me