I am at an impasse, with my writing and with my feelings. Of course, these issues are related.
Lots of people take the last week of the year to reflect on the past and to look ahead to a new year where things are going to be different, dammit. Those of you who have bipolar depression with a soupcon of borderline personality disorder – like me – might even spend a day alone fixating on what they did wrong this year. And, if you’re anything like me, relationships probably take up the majority of your obsession time.
Since my bipolar diagnosis, I’ve spent a lot of time worrying about romantic relationships: how to find one, how to act right when I’m in one, how to pick the right one. I’ve dedicated tons of blog air time to dating and to family because those relationships are my triggers. But I’ve neglected to address a very important person in many of our lives, an important relationship for people with mental illness: the therapeutic relationship.
Many people aren’t good at relationships, particularly at the beginning. What might be a time of excitement and optimism for the average person can turn to anxiety and depression for someone with bipolar. In this blog post, I compare the feelings I experience during the beginning of a relationship – in this case, with Erik, a new love interest – with the mood fluctuations of bipolar disorder.
Welcome. I’m Tracey Lloyd. I’ve been diagnosed bipolar for 3 years, struggled with undiagnosed depression for 10 years and was a sensitive crybaby at birth. In the midst of emotional upheaval and medication changes, I completed college, business school and even a few 5K runs. I began thinking seriously about writing two years ago after a two-week stay at a psych hospital made me question life. I started blogging seriously after getting catcalled by guys in a passing car and being just outraged enough to share.
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