I have said it again and again, what goes up, must come down and it usually does so with a resounding thud. A crater. An impact that puts you lower in the ground than before you started. In other words, a depression.
And that’s the problem with hypomania. For many people the hypomania itself really isn’t a huge deal (although for some hypomania in and of itself is damaging) but the period afterwards is devastating. It’s the hypomania hangover.
Stress and Hypomania
On Wednesday I was filmed for a documentary on bipolar disorder by Fiore Films. This was altogether a pleasant and fun experience if harried and stressful. Against my better logic I stressed out before filming and held my brain together by narrow margins during the filming itself. Quite frankly it’s daunting to be interviewed for two hours at a time.
And so I was hypomanic. The stress ate away at my stability and caused a few days of crazy. It wasn’t the biggest deal for me because hypomania I can handle and channel, but there it was nonetheless.
And now I’m sitting in the black hole of the hypomania hangover and I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Or maybe a car. I mean, I suppose it could be worse.
When I say I feel like I was hit by a car a really mean it. My whole body is weeping with fatigue and stress and yes, pain. I’m beyond exhausted. Yes, I’ve slept, like usual, but it seems to have done nothing for me. I spent all day yesterday resting and today is only a slight uptick in energy levels. And yes, depression is clawing at the back of my brain with angry, bloody claws just begging for me to let my guard down for a second so it can move in and take root.
Take Care and a Hangover Passes
But like all hangovers, this one, too, shall pass but it does require excessive care to do so. Resting is the primary need combined with permission to do nothing for a while. I’m not sure how long, but another day with a serious me-imprint on the couch is probably required. The important thing to remember is that a hangover is not the end of the world – just a natural part of a bipolar cycle that can be lived through and passed like anything else. Don’t make it worse by worrying about how much worse it could get. Just try to accept it, breathe, rest and go on. Because you weren’t up forever and the resulting hangover won’t last forever either.