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Hope for Eating Disorder Recovery

Hope for Eating Disorder Recovery

Do you believe there is hope for recovery from your eating disorder? Or do you believe the best you can hope for is management of your eating disorder symptoms?

I believe there is hope. I believe that one day, I will be free.

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Confidence and Mental Illness

Confidence and Mental Illness

Confidence and mental illness? Confidence and mental illness…confidence and, you got it, mental illness. I’m trying the phrase on. It feels a little weird.

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Envisioning Positive Outcomes: Hope – and Preparation

Envisioning Positive Outcomes: Hope – and Preparation

anything can happen today
a reminder of hope - and the need to be prepared

Today is my son Ben’s 30th birthday. Whoa. How did this happen? I know every parent feels this same sense of disbelief as their children celebrate milestones; still, when your child has dealt with serious illness, that sense of wonder is enhanced by the fear you have felt in the past.

I remember asking myself: will Ben even live to be 30?

I know there are many parents who share these fears for many different reasons – even with perfectly healthy children, fear of losing your child is part of the beautiful package of love. No, Ben has  not been diagnosed with cancer or heart disease. He has not been deployed to a war zone.

Ben has schizophrenia, a physical illness of the brain. Yes, it has changed our family forever. But is it life-threatening?

You bet it is.

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Challenge Your Comfort Zone in Addiction Recovery

Challenge Your Comfort Zone in Addiction Recovery

Addiction recovery, or for that matter, any recovery, requires a certain amount of patience in yourself as you learn new healthy coping skills. Some people who struggle with addiction have struggled for years, and brain pathways have developed around the craving and use of substances. In order to change behaviors, there is absolutely going to be an amount of time where you feel uncomfortable, unsure of yourself, and feel out of your comfort zone. That is because the addiction was the comfort zone for so long, no matter how devastating the consequences.

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Things Verbal Abusers Say and Do

Things Verbal Abusers Say and Do

Abusive people, men and women, say and do similar things to control their victims. The delivery may vary in tone or type, but the effect is the same. Read this.

What does verbal abuse sound like? The tone and content varies from abuser to abuser, but the words effect the victim in similar ways. Victims hear horrible things from their abuser and they feel small, withdrawn, angry, helpless, sad, shame, and a hundred other horrible emotions – sometimes all at once.

In the beginning of my abusive relationship, I felt anger and stood up for myself which led to loud, circular verbal altercations that had no solutions. Later, after coming to believe that he was my hero, my savior and provider, I felt stupid and wanted to fix myself so he would love me.  Much later, I turned away and left the house for awhile which eventually led to increased physical violence and leaving forever.

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Schema Therapy for BPD: Soothing the Abandoned Child

Schema Therapy for BPD: Soothing the Abandoned Child

An underlying premise of schema therapy is that people with borderline personality disorder operate in different modes, including Abandoned Child mode. In this video, I talk about the Abandoned Child mode and how to cope with it.

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Intimacy in Abusive Relationships

Intimacy in Abusive Relationships

When I think of intimacy, I think of the ability to share personal insights or facts with another person who will keep them between the two of us and hold them gently. Holding my personal fears, joys, mistakes and successes gently is important to me. When my abuser would manipulate the intimate facts of me to control me, I felt he betrayed me just as if he had stood on a rooftop and blurted private facts of me into a bullhorn.

And yet, although my intimacies often came back to bite me in the butt, I kept sharing them with him! Why? Because I thought that sharing brought closeness, appreciation, understanding, and love. I thought I could force him to love me the way I wanted by being completely open and honest.

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Discipline, School, and the Mentally Ill Child in Handcuffs: Social Stigma

Discipline, School, and the Mentally Ill Child in Handcuffs: Social Stigma

The story of Salecia Johnson–a 6-year-old Kindergarten student who was handcuffed and arrested following a destructive tantrum–received widespread media attention. That this unfortunate event occurred at all is bad enough–the public’s response has been even worse.

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Addiction as a Disease

Addiction as a Disease

Is addiction a disease? This question has been up for debate for many years. If so, how does addiction qualify as a disease?

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How Doctors Can Sabotage Psychiatric Medication Treatment

How Doctors Can Sabotage Psychiatric Medication Treatment

Recently, I was talking with someone on Twitter and she was concerned about the side effects of psychiatric medication X. I asked her what her starting dose was for the psych medication and she said 15 mg. Now, I’m not a doctor, but I can tell you two things:

  1. That is ridiculous.
  2. That will certainly make the patient stop the medication early due to side effects and never even find out if it works.
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