Successfully Managing Bipolar Disorder - Bipolar Conference Transcript

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

clance13: My daughter is having problems with keeping a relationship, going and finding a guy. What should I tell her?

Julie Fast: Ah... the problem most of us have. Keeping a relationship is difficult for anyone but when you have Bipolar, there is so much more stress added.

I suggest that she works on the illness first- get my books- or any book she can find and work on reducing symptoms so that she is less of a burden to a person. We are clingy and needy or so manic we are irritated and hard to be around. Then I would suggest working on communication skills- such as being a good partner by taking care of yourself first.

I have done all of this myself and it has worked- though romantic relationships are hard.

tuttifrutti: My daughter often begs me to kill her and I just don't know what to do. I have been asking for help for years and unfortunately I have been seen as a crazy mum.

Julie Fast: She begs you to kill her because bipolar disorder is making her say and feel these things. It is beyond scary to hear someone you love talk this way, but I am not shocked. I have often wished someone would kill me. Wanting to die is really wanting to end pain.

You can talk to her this way: "you have an illness that makes you suicidal. It is painful and horrible. Many people have this illness and they hurt like you do. Let's work together on getting help for the illness and focus on that first. What can I do right now is to help you focus on what is causing this instead of what you are feeling."

I am often suicidal as I am often stressed and my family now knows to say this to me. And finally, she needs to talk to her doctor about medications, especially an antipsychotic medication.

These are all such important questions and I know it is frustrating to get such short answers! I do cover all of this in the books in more detail

stredoa: I am 21, bi-polar, engaged and am getting married next year. I am often clingy with my fiance and sometimes he says I am too clingy. How can I work on this without feeling hurt, because I want to hug him or be near him when I know I need to give him space?

Julie Fast: Take care of yourself first. I have a chart in my book called the Chain of Neediness. It goes like this: When I am sick I can ask for help in this order: professional, therapist, support group, friend who understands bipolar disorder, partner, family, others.

If you put your partner first in your health care, you will scare him into thinking you need him too much. Remember, the illness may make you this way and the better you manage the illness, the less needy you will be. When you need that hug, consciously ask what is going on and what you really need.

carolm: It is possible to completely recover from bipolar disorder? My daughter had classic symptoms for several years, then began getting better. She is totally off all medications and has been for many months and doing great. Should we expect it to come back?

Julie Fast: This is definitely possible, but very, very rare. I assume she has bipolar I? people with bipolar one can have long periods of stability between mood swings, or only have one severe episode and never have one again

carolm: They never classified her as I or II.

Julie Fast: Wow, that is just amazing, isn't it? I assume it is I, as II is much more chronic in terms of depression. So, yes, this is possible and wonderful! Just watch very carefully for triggers such as getting laid off from work, having a baby, etc. It can come back.

doug: How do I talk to my kids about my bipolar?

Julie Fast: It depends on the age. I have a four year old nephew and he knows all about it. I say "I am sick today" and he knows I am depressed and that I cannot love him as much that day. I may just have to sit with him.

Older kids can definitely help and be part of the treatment plan. Believe me, they know what is going on, so they should be involved.

Maturity matters as does fear. Are they scared? That is one thing you will need to address- it may be more important to make them feel safe than to involve them in a treatment plan. My policy is to be honest with everyone, including the children in my family- it is just a matter of degrees.

Natalie: How do you deal with someone who is diagnosed Bipolar but doesn't want to believe it? I'm sure in the beginning, it's difficult. But we get lots of letters from parents, spouses, etc. with this question.

Julie Fast: Over 50% of people diagnosed with Bipolar disorder refuse to believe they have the illness. Those are pretty discouraging numbers! The main problem is that one of the symptoms of Bipolar is to think you don't have bipolar. This is common in schizophrenia as well. I suggest that you work on yourself, set limits, learn how to talk to them when they are in a mood swing, remind yourself it is an illness and they really are not doing this to you personally, they are sick. Sometimes, if you change and learn to respond to them instead of reacting you may get some results. I wish I had a more definitive answer for this one.

Natalie: Here's an audience comment:

binoman: I can answer that Natalie. I've had this problem over and over again. You keep on talking until they get it. It's a difficult situation, but you eventually get used to knowing that you are not going to be well received with anything you say.

Julie Fast: I agree with the comment- you can keep trying, but when doing that you can keep changing yourself and learn more about the illness in order to help yourself.

Natalie: Our time is up tonight. We have been talking to Julie Fast, the author of "Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder: A 4-Step Plan for You and Your Loved Ones to Manage the Illness and Create Lasting Stability" and "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your ". You can purchase them by clicking on the links.

Thank you, Julie, for being our guest. You were an interesting guest with very helpful information and we appreciate you being here.

Julie Fast: Good night everyone.

Natalie: I encourage everyone to sign up for our mailing list. It's free and we'll notify you of other events happening on the HealthyPlace.com website. I also invite you to sign up for the first and only social network for people with mental health conditions as well as their family members and friends.

Thank you everybody for coming. I hope you found the chat interesting and helpful.

Good night everyone.

Disclaimer: That we are not recommending or endorsing any of the suggestions of our guest. In fact, we strongly encourage you to talk over any therapies, remedies or suggestions with your doctor BEFORE you implement them or make any changes in your treatment.

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