Parenting Bipolar Children - Transcript - Parenting Children with Bipolar Disorder

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

David: Some more audience comments on what's been said tonight:

C.Gates: I always say, "If you lived with my child, you would feel differently about it." Plus, if your child rages and does not remember it, and you accuse them of it, they will resent you for it. That will hurt them and you more than a hidden video.

carol bova: When it's appropriate, I just tell people what the disorder is. If they care, they will try to understand; if they don't, then its not worth the effort.

1789: I am putting in some webcams so that I can randomly monitor my son's afternoon activities from work.

Batty: It's hard to talk about success with siblings when you have an only child who is BP!!

Mell: My in-laws blame me for the weight gain and refuse to believe it's the bipolar medications.

Susan0: We mentioned our success with our daughter and they said she just hadn't exhibited problems yet!

David: I also want to touch on school issues tonight. One of the toughest problems some parents have is getting the school to work with them. Do you have some suggestions on that?

George Lynn: As always, a good evaluation is very important. The specific educational deficiencies that a child has must be documented, and many kids with Bipolar Disorder challenges have ADD-like learning issues.

That's number one. Number two is getting across the idea that schools destabilize our kids and that unique structures have to be put in place to insure stability on a day-to-day basis. Doing this will require a write-up from your psychiatrist. Finally, you face all the issues people do with NB involved kids. Schools are big bureaucracies. See chapter 15 of my first book for hard-learned lessons of ways to deal with the bureaucratic part.

David: By the way, we have an excellent site in our ADD community, but it's appropriate for any child with a learning disability. It discusses dealing with the school system and getting what your child deserves and is entitled to. The Parent Advocate site is run by Judy Bonnell. I encourage you to drop by and read through her site. She is extremely knowledgeable about the subject.

Mell: I can understand this zero tolerance policy schools have, but if a 6 year old threatens to blow up the school, why would they take it seriously?

George Lynn: IMHO schools are trying to deal with overcrowding by using methods that lose sight of the situation of individual children. The only way to deal with this is as an issue involving your child's civil rights and his rights under the IEP law. You provide documentation that he is not dangerous. You require the school to continue to educate him until they are satisfied that he can return to class. You may be able to compel his return. The important thing is to know that you do have rights in the situation.

Oftentimes, we take it for granted that the system can get away with this kind of "Spartacus like" treatment of our kids, but we all have rights.

David: Some comments on how schools react to threatening behavior:

C.Gates: Yes, they do take it seriously here in Houston, Texas.

frazzwell: My son went to jail for 3 weeks for writing "bomb" on a bathroom wall. They called it a bomb threat.

thrbozmo: ABSOLUTELY the schools take threats seriously. I've advocated for kids that young who were suspended for making such comments. Total BS.

sebastian: It's important to educate the teachers and staff about childhood Bipolar Disorder. Give them written information about it. CABF has very informative handouts from their site to use. I did this and it really helped the teachers to better understand why my son does some of the things he does.

Kris23: Do you find that many Bipolar kids are also gifted? Also learning disabled? How do we reconcile all these aspects of the child?

George Lynn: Oh yes. They most often show gifts as (believe it or not) little philosophers or writers. They are heavy into truth. They cannot tolerate absurdity. Learning disabilities often involve short-term memory issues and all the ones caused by impulsivity. When I am working with these gifted kids, I try to give them a story line about themselves and confidence that things will work out. Fact is the research is positive for bipolar children who get medical attention.

One more thing I have noticed is that the parents of these kids themselves are often outstanding in some area. The good and the bad come down the tree.

David: I also forgot to mention, but in the bipolar transcript section of our site, you'll find the transcript from our conference with Pete and Pam Wright, who are legal experts on kids with learning disabilities. There is a lot of good information there.

I see we have a few proud parents of gifted bipolar children with us :)

SpaceCowgirl: Yes, my son pulls A's and B's and has since 2nd grade. He is a perfectionist about his grades and beats himself up if they aren't at least A's and B's.

carol bova: I had to fight to have my son put into the accelerated math class in 6th grade; the teacher said he had all the tools to do the work but had a bad attitude.

sebastian: My son is in the gifted program at school, but currently is not doing well in math and reading. It seems it is getting more difficult as he gets older. Medications also affect their cognitive abilities.

Batty: There is a great book, Uniquely Gifted: Identifying and Meeting the Needs of the Twice-Exceptional Student by Kiesa Kay, that addresses gifted children with learning disabilities!!