Living with Bipolar Disorder - title

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

What Impact has Bipolar Disorder Had on You?"

David: What impact has bipolar disorder had on you?

Jean Y: Now that I realize that I have this disorder and am not just the same old me, I am quite angry. I find that writing in the journal helps assuage this.

David: What aspect of it are you angry about?

Jean Y: I am angry that I spent time working so hard on my family and just pushed it to the side. There are many interesting aspects of it. I do believe I am a creative person, and this plays a part. However, I am fearful at times that my children might be taken from me, simply because I am bipolar.

David: Have you actually been threatened with that?

Jean Y: No! But I was really really sick when I was hospitalized and there were a lot of people working with my autistic children in and out of the house. My behavior was so aberrant, there could have been a time...

David: From what I know, many people with bipolar or other mental illnesses, live with different fears, but they are "extreme fears." How do you deal with that in your life?

Jean Y: Strangely, I have always been a very happy person until this depression and mania that occurred after my second child was diagnosed with autism. Then I did become anxious, almost agoraphobic. I didn't like driving anywhere, for example. I made my husband pick up a lot of the slack for ages.

David: Did that impact your relationship with him?

Jean Y: He is divine. He is extremely understanding. Frankly, he saved my life. He literally DRAGGED me to the hospital.

David: What about your ability to work?

Jean Y: I do not have to work, fortunately. But I am very intense, and I write at home. I have been published as a writer in several small publications.

David: Do you think you could work, if you had to?

Jean Y: HAHA. GOOD QUESTION! Could I be an actress?

David: One thing before we get to more questions -- what kind of treatment for manic depression have you/are you receiving including therapy and bipolar medications; and if you are getting treatment, has it helped?

Jean Y: My treatment has been essential in maintaining my health. I go to an excellent psychopharmacologist who monitors my medications and listens to me yell and generally is a terrific person. When my lithium wrecked my thyroid, he switched me to depakote, and together, within a week, I was ok - not high.

David: Here are two audience comments regarding having bipolar disorder and children:

lizzyb_74: Jean, I have been hospitalized many times and I have a son and he has never been taken away from me because of that.

This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it : Jean, my children were taken from me because I was sick, and no one could diagnose me for 48 years.

Jean Y: This saddens me deeply.

David: Ronnie, I am sorry to hear that. Jean, here's the first audience question:

BHorne75: Jean, how do you manage the stress involved with having 2 sons with autism so that it doesn't trigger another manic episode, if that's possible?

Jean Y: Hello my friend. I laugh a lot, I take my meds religiously - every day - and I yell around the house loudly. Good thing we have over 2 acres of property!

David: Jean, has your bipolar disorder affected your children in any way or the way they relate to you (including your older children)?

Jean Y: Yes. My oldest is afraid to come to this site and read my bipolar journal. He is 23. He doesn't understand that my illness is not "me" - just part of me. My second oldest is just, totally, not interested. He is in college. I am concerned that one of my autistic children may have bipolar disorder, underlying his disorder.

David: Here are a few more audience comments:

snugglez: I understand you. I have a sister who is 17. I am 16 and she is afraid of me because of some of my past actions.

rayandkat1: First I was ashamed, then I was in denial. Now I am just proud. I think it is nice to be able to say, yes I have bipolar, but I am still as successful as the next guy/gal.

woodyw3usa: I am bipolar and have an 18 year old daughter who was diagnosed at age 14. She is still having a rough time.

tnm1133: Jean, I just went through a divorce and have three boys, 6, 6, and 5. I have very little help and go to school full-time. My ex is trying to exploit the bipolar. I am off meds because of this, and I am deeply involved with my boys. Do you ever experience feeling like you are under a microscope because of the disorder, even having support?

Jean Y: I spend a lot of time thinking. I put my own self under a microscope, in a sense. I am concerned when I go to school meetings, and they know about me, that they are thinking of the effect it has on my children, yes.