Anxiety Caregivers - Caring for Anxiety Sufferer

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

ashen: She won't leave the house.

KenS: As you may know I live in Canada, but most of the people I am in contact with are in the US. In the U.S., many have had success in phoning their county mental health agency for advice and help.

David: Here's a similar comment, Ken:

thaiphoon: I feel like a hostage in my own home. My husband never lets me go anywhere, and on the rare occasion he does, I have to take a cell phone with me so he can call me if he has a panic attack. I feel like a dog on a leash. I'm getting angry and resentful. He too, due to his horrible panic attacks, will not leave the house to seek help. What can I do?

KenS: That is a common problem. Your husband is not going to die from panic attacks. Try taking short trips, or have someone come in with him while you are out. My friend wanted me to get a cell phone or a pager. I refused and took control by saying I will phone you two or three times while I am out. While at work, she would phone many times but I had alerted the secretary about what the problem was. I usually got around to phoning later, and by then the severe anxiety had passed. Have you spoken to any counselors, clergy, etc, about this? You must find a way to talk to someone and let off some steam.

David: Here's a comment from an audience member:

Debbles: Do what they did to me. They picked me up and took me to the doctor! That was the best thing that ever happened to me.

KenS: Thanks, Debbles. Nice to see you. Good idea. That would bring it to head in a hurry.

Debbles: I don't recommend it for all situations, just for getting that first initial help, if you feel you can't get out at all. The reason is, if you stay home you will never get better. There are therapists out there who will come to your home and work with you to get to the office. I have had one like that and she was very helpful, but you too can also do it by taking baby steps by getting them to go out a little at a time. Also, anti-anxiety medications are a big help with this disorder, finding the right one to work for you is the hard part.

KenS: Thanks , Debbles. Would you include Ativan (Lorazepam) in there? That is very useful for that.

David: What do you think about that, Ken? And I know you're not a doctor or therapist. But is it right to forcefully take someone outside of their safety zone?

KenS: I really would not want to force a person outside their safety zone, unless it were an emergency. However, I do see what Debbles is saying. It worked with her panic attacks. What works for one may not work for all.

thaiphoon: I also feel like a servant and not a wife. Marital relations have stopped, and I can no longer work due to his constant calling at my job. I'd love to have someone stay with him, but he won't let anyone else into the house. It's the only place he feels safe and he doesn't want anyone in his space. Since my husband can't work, and he won't let me get another job, we have no money for counseling. I wish I could.

KenS: You were fired for it?

thaiphoon: Yes, fired for repeated personal calls.

KenS: Thaiphoon, I am sorry that happened. I have helped some people find help when they could not afford it by getting them to contact their local mental health unit or university psychology department.

David: Here's a question, Ken...keeping in mind that many people with anxiety disorders deal with dual diagnosis; they turn to drugs and alcohol to quiet their anxiety symptoms:

KenS: Yes, they do. Anxiety and alcohol go hand-in-hand. Men, particularly, turn to alcohol for "help." It is not unusual to find alcoholics in the families of those with anxiety.

Alohio: What about someone who has a mate that also drinks?

KenS: I have helped some family members by directing them to go to places like Alanon, etc. Well, one of you is going to have to take control and get help.

David: Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Agorophobia: Information for Support People, Family and Friends is the name of Ken Strong's book. I encourage you to pick up a copy. There's a lot of useful information in it.

KenS: Thanks.

CHRIS26: I'm wondering how long I have to be a caregiver? Does panic ever come to an end?

KenS: Well, some get over it in a few months. Others go on for years, but people do get over it eventually. You have to work at getting yourself in a balance between what you can do and time. There is nothing wrong whatsoever in saying you need a break etc.