An Interview with John Walker, Ph.D.
An Interview with John Walker, Ph.D. about Shyness and Social Anxiety
 John Walker, Ph.D. is co-author, with Murray Stein, M.D., of the new book, Triumph Over Shyness: Conquering Shyness and Social Anxiety (McGraw-Hill 2001). Dr. Walker spoke to the Reporter about shyness and social anxiety.
What is the difference between being shy and being socially anxious?
Shyness is a familiar term and a familiar experience for many of us. A person we describe as being very shy may be very quiet when meeting new people. He or she may take a long while to warm up in social gatherings. In a group a shy person may listen quietly and rarely speak. He or she may seldom start the dialogue in a conversation and may be much more likely to speak around people who are very familiar. We often speak about someone being shy (or ourselves being shy) because of how we behave in social situations - especially with unfamiliar people.
Social anxiety refers to something that overlaps with this. Rather than focusing on the pattern of interactions with other people (as the term shyness does), anxiety refers to the emotion the person experiences when in a social encounter. Many people who are very shy would also be said to be socially anxious. However, people who do not appear to be shy to others may still experience a lot of social anxiety. There are a number of media personalities who appear very socially confident but who describe how anxious they are in many social situations - especially those involving performing in front of others.
Where is the line drawn between being socially anxious and having Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia)?
Feeling some anxiety before an important business meeting or before a first date is pretty much normal. However, we would say that a person has Social Anxiety Disorder if he or she experiences so much social anxiety in everyday life that it causes significant distress or disability. People who experience distress may worry a great deal in anticipation of a difficult social encounter - often for days or weeks before hand. The anxiety they experience may involve strong symptoms, such as excessive perspiration, shaky feelings, difficulty concentrating, having to urinate frequently, or feeling very tense or restless before and during the social contact. There may also be difficulty concentrating and thinking clearly. Some people worry a great deal that their mind will go blank. Generally these people have a lot of distress and worry about having the anxiety problems.
In treatment, it is not unusual to see people who would love to have good friendships but have no friends or very few friends. People often tell us that they have made decisions about their education and work life that involve reducing social contacts and social demands.
Can socially anxious children outgrow their anxiety?
It is clear that with development many children overcome certain types of fears - such as fears of the dark, fears of unfamiliar people, and fears of monsters under the bed. Children also learn their way around anxiety problems with the help of interested adults, for example, learning to speak to adults from outside the family with the help of parents and teachers. On the other hand, there is evidence that many anxiety problems are quite persistent and do not improve with the passage of time. As a parent I would not rely on a child outgrowing an anxiety problem unless it was absolutely typical of most children at that age. There are many things that parents can do, and often do, to help their children to become more confident and to overcome anxiety. Parents play a very important role in teaching their children social skills and in encouraging the development of friendships. Children learn how to respond to visitors and guests, in part, by watching their parents.
Is some degree of social anxiety necessary? What about shyness?
The answer to this question depends on the person. Anxiety is a useful emotion that has survival value. Anxiety alerts us to prepare for an important job interview or school presentation. Thinking through what we wish to say and considering the impact of our words on others may be very useful. In these cases, a moderate degree of anxiety may help us to perform skillfully. Individuals with too low a level of anxiety may speak up before considering the impact of their words on others and consequently they may be less successful socially.
For individuals with intense shyness or Social Anxiety Disorder, the anxiety level is often so high that it interferes with their ability to concentrate and listen to other people. It interferes with their ability to respond in skillful ways. Their anxiety level may continue to remain high even in social situations that are familiar. For these people, the shyness or social anxiety is clearly an interference rather than an asset.
How can a person determine if they are too socially anxious?
If you think that social anxiety disorder may be a problem for you, we suggest a series of questions to ask yourself. Does your social anxiety make you feel nervous or uncomfortable a lot of the time? Does social anxiety interfere with things you want to do now or in the foreseeable future? Does it prevent you from doing things? Does it keep you from enjoying pleasurable activities? Does it lead to you being alone and lonely?" If you answer "yes" to any of these questions, you may have Social Anxiety Disorder and you would likely benefit from help with this problem.
What can a socially anxious person, or someone with Social Anxiety Disorder, do to help themself?
The core of our book is a self-help program designed to be used independently or with the help of a therapist. We suggest that there are three essential steps to overcoming problems caused by social anxiety:
- Understanding your anxiety pattern.
- Changing your thinking in anxiety-provoking situations.
- Changing your anxious behaviors.
The self-help program walks you through a series of activities to accomplish these goals. The book also provides information on the choices available when it comes to professional help for the problem.
Take a Social Anxiety, Social Phobia Self-Test
Purchase Triumph Over Shyness: Conquering Shyness and Social Anxiety
next: Social Phobia Shyness and Fear of Public Performance
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