What comes in to fill that gap? It is a shock. Aren't we supposed to be feeling "bad" right now, and be racked with guilt thoughts and the inner critic for a couple of days ( at least a couple of days if I am going to get value for money)? Staying in the cycle, we know that we are not growing and are suffering, certainly - but it is known. Now, we decide to let go of the cycle and give what we really need to our self. What is left? There is resistance to stopping playing the game. It is the same with letting go of the other "bad" feelings. We get this eerie feeling that something is not right. Aren't we supposed to feel "bad" at this point? Aren't we supposed to be ripping ourselves into strips with the inner critic?

The point is that we have done this time-and-time again. When we are guilty, this happens, then this happens, then this and then the cycle is finished. Usually, in the middle, we get into the "I'm a terrible person" as well, so we have all of this. It is the same every time.

The way we go through guilt (as an example) is exactly the same every time. We have our guilt thoughts saved up for the event, we have our "I'm a terrible person" outlook saved up for the event - the whole box and dice. It is the same every time. So if we let go of the guilt, at say a third of the way through the suffering, there is a whole 2/3 of the process waiting to jump in and have it's go. We sit back and say, but wait - aren't I supposed to get onto the "I'm a terrible person" part now. The cycle is cut and a huge fear rushes in. We stand on the precipice of the unknown. We are launched head first into the reality of being here right now, because we are no longer in the middle of a veil of rolling cycles.

Most of us roll in cycles. We go from our anger cycle to our guilt cycle to our anxiety cycle to our fear cycle to our worry cycle to our depression cycle and then it all starts again.

To let go, means letting go of the veil of unconsciousness reaction and the expectation and knowledge that this follows this reaction. And what waits for us in the letting go - fear. Either, before the action, we can experience the fear (a wall), or immediately after (with our toe nails clawing desperately to the cliff edge as we drop).

Also, when we actually go to do the activity, our mind will inevitably have set us up with it's own interpretation of the actual experience. So this colours the actual experience. Usually the mind will prevent us from taking the actual step. It says: " Wait a minute. Let's think about this a little longer. Wouldn't you prefer to do something else? What about all those chores you have to do?"

If we allow the mind to halt us in our tracks, we will remain standing in the one spot for ever. Imagine the choice to change in the following way. Many have climbed a nearby mountain and have returned to tell the tale of the magnitude and wonder of the experience. They had actually experienced life. We stand at the base of the mountain pondering how we would like to experience this also. We look at the height of the mountain. We see the craggy rocks and the vertical rocks we would need to climb. The mind will tell us we need more preparation to do the climb. It will tell us that we will never make it, that we are not as good as those others that had made it, that we haven't the time to allocate out for such a trip.

Now, if we allow the mind to interfere at this point, we will stand at the base of that mountain looking up, pondering "what if" for the rest of our lives. Once we actually set foot on the mountain, it is easier to keep the momentum going. We have gone this far, lets just go a little further. Once we start to experience the unknown, then we see there is so much life contained there.

Everything is new and infinitely interesting. The rock formations are different, the view of the surrounding countryside is more-and-more expansive. But, it is hard work. We need to walk upwards and this requires consistent work. If we don't get past the initial resistance to actually taking the first step, we will lose the opportunity to experience something new. Once we let go of this resistance, we are free to move forward. Sometimes we need to just bite the bullet and go for it - we have nothing to lose.

As Anthony de Mello says so beautifully "People who deliberate fully before they take a step will spend their lives on one leg." A very uncomfortable position in deed. Henry Ford also states succinctly: "Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't - you are right."

The power of the mind to create reality. What stands between us and the first step to take action is the mind, with it's infinite scenarios and games and tricks. If the mind tells us we can't do it - chances are we believe it, never questioning or taking the risk to try anyway. This is how our lives go many times. An exciting new door of opportunity opens for us and we sit there contemplating the wheres, hows and whys of the open door.

Many times we turn our back on that because in the end it seems all too hard. To go through that open door just seems like too much work or may be surrounded by fear of "What ifs". The mind has so much power, doesn't it?

Imagine if we were the ones that called the shots and told the mind what we were going to listen to and what we weren't. Our life would be so much freer. In all probability, it would be more exciting and fulfilling. The simple fact is that the mind and thoughts can limit us if we allow it to. Once we take the reins of control over our mind, then there are limitless possibilities. The mind is transformed into a very powerful tool for our use. The limiting is the resistance to action. The resistance to taking new roads and ways within our life.

Sometimes, action takes on a symbolic form within us to let go of old ways. An action within the very psyche - not necessarily on an external basis. But action, it can be seen is primary to growth. The choice of action. Action finalises a moment and opens us up to a new moment. It is like tying a string around a garbage bag and leaving it at the side of the road for the garbage truck to pick up. We leave it behind. We no longer need to carry it around with us.

Action can take many forms - increasing awareness, letting go, meditation, reading, letting go into an unknown situation, going to a group or therapist / counsellor - all symbolic ways of telling the Self, yes - I am open to change.

The resistance to action is a biggie. If we don't do it now, it is harder next time. All we can do is push through the resistance and open ourselves to experience. The fact is, we never REALLY know what will happen in the next moment. It is unknown. But we believe we know, due to our rolling cycles and projections.

Living on the edge

is perilous,

but the view more

than compensates.