doubt
1 a : uncertainty of belief or opinion that often interferes with
decision-making
b : a deliberate suspension of judgment
2 : a state of affairs giving rise to uncertainty, hesitation, or suspense
3 a : a lack of confidence : DISTRUST
b : an inclination not to believe or accept
dis·or·der
1 : to disturb the order of
2 : to disturb the regular or normal functions of
Definitions from
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
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"Jessie"
Hi, my name is Jessie and I, like many other people, have OCD. I
am also very young compared to most of you, since I am only 13.
At first, about 3 years ago, I became obsessed with death. If the
news came on, and showed an accident or some kind of deathful
situation, I would run out of the room crying. Death scared so bad.
I was so afraid of myself or my parents dying, I started little
rituals. I always had water by my bed, in the same glass. I always
said "I love you" to my parents before I left the house, and I would
lay in bed and pray 3 times before I could go to bed. It was a very
long prayer, and it was always the same. If I messed it up, I would
have to start the 3 times all over again. It would take me 45
minuets to an hour just to pray every night. I dreaded slumber
parties and sleepovers.
Sometimes, I would be in class and reading, and a little voice
would tell me to turn to the last page in the book and read the last
sentence. I would try as hard as I could to resist, but the voice
would get unbearable. I was afraid my parents would die if I didn't
obey the voice. I would wind up turning the page back 15-20 times
each day. It was very embarrassing.
I finally read an article in
JUMP magazine and found out that I had OCD. I asked my mom to take
me to a therapist. She did and she prescribed me a drug. I am much
better today.
My advice, don't be afraid to seek help!
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