|
Doubt is thought's despair; despair is personality's doubt. . .;
Doubt and despair . . .
belong to completely different spheres;
different sides of the soul are set in motion. . .
Despair is an expression of the total personality,
doubt only of thought.
-
Søren Kierkegaard
doubt
1 a : uncertainty of belief or opinion that often interferes with
decision-making
b : a deliberate suspension of judgment
2 : a state of affairs giving rise to uncertainty, hesitation, or suspense
3 a : a lack of confidence : DISTRUST
b : an inclination not to believe or accept
dis·or·der
1 : to disturb the order of
2 : to disturb the regular or normal functions of
Definitions from
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
|
|
"Clare"
My name is Clare and I was
diagnosed with OCD.
I guess that the obsessions go back as far as I can remember, but
then again, I am only 19 years old so it hasn't been that long. It
began for me as lists. At any given time, I have 10 lists. I have a
front page of the lists that I have in my list packet, and then I
have the various lists. There are "To Do" lists, "To Study" lists,
"Medicines to take", "When to take my medicines", etc... Then I
realized that I spell. I think of a conversation in my head and then
realize that I had just spelled a word out while thinking. In
conversations, I spell certain words and do not even realize it.
Also, I have a 11 month old son and I color coordinate his bottles,
and when his sitter messes up the rhythm, I have to empty and wash
them all and begin the cycle of Red bottle, Green bottle, Purple
bottle, etc..all over again. It seems stupid, but when I drive, I
read every sign I see on the street, highway, freeway, or wherever.
If I miss a sign, I get a feeling of panic, that I don't know
something and now, I could be in danger, or be going the wrong way.
I also have an obsession of order. Right now, I have a list in order
of the obsessions I want to write about. Lastly, I count my bites
and when I walk up stairs, I count the stairs as well. These are all
such minor, silly things, and yet I don't know why I do them. My day
can not progress the way it should without these obsessions and
compulsions of mine coming into play.
When I was diagnosed, I felt relieved, because I always knew
there was something wrong with me, I just didn't know what it was.
Now that I know, I have to read everything that I see about OCD. I
look it up on the web, I go to book stores, I mean everything. It is
good to know that I am not alone, that there are other people out
there like me. OCD has not gone away yet. I have recently began
taking Zoloft, and from what I have read, my case is very minor and
hopefully it will help. I am looking forward to a happy, healthy
life.
Contact
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
I am not a doctor, therapist or professional in the treatment of CD.
This site reflects my experience and my opinions only, unless otherwise
stated. I am not responsible for the content of links I may point to or
any content or advertising in HealthyPlace.com other then my own.
Always consult a trained mental health professional before making any
decision regarding treatment choice or changes in your treatment. Never
discontinue treatment or medication without first consulting your
physician, clinician or therapist.
Content of Doubt and Other
Disorders
copyright ©1996-2002 All Rights Reserved
next: "Deb - Poetry"
|
