Resistance - How to Deal with Stress and Anxiety

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

Sure, the mind says this to us in a tone that implies that it only has our best interests at heart. It is the same with every new activity we try that needs considerable practice - be it learning a new musical instrument to learning new ways of dealing with anger. The mind tries to covertly whisper in our ear about how this is not working. The old way was considerably easier. Maybe this is not the technique for us. Perhaps we can find a technique that is more suited to us. It fills our mind with statements like:

"You just can't do it"

"This is just too hard"

"Everyone else can do this. Why can't I. I'm useless"

"It's the wrong time to sit for meditation"

"Maybe I should try some other method"

We're bombarded with thoughts of doubt. It is a very effective way actually to resist change and growth. With every self-doubt, the reaction to the thoughts are a drain on our energy. Our body energy drains away until we are dragging our slumped body around the house. Our inner-drive to change is drained away - our motivation is attacked. Our sense of direction and goals are attacked and drain away. So on all levels, we drain away our energy needed for change. These are all primary parts we need for change. Without one or all of them, it is a tough uphill climb. Sometimes we keep going on sheer willpower. The doubts knock this around, and soon we find ourselves reading about chakra alignments and the latest advances in past life regressions. We will find ourselves hop around from one technique to another. One way of growing to another.

All techniques actually require working with them, practising them and so requires action. Sometimes, we have to face the inner wish for change right now, without having to do the work. Most of us want that magical pill that gives us instantaneous transformation. Unfortunately, all real changes need us to do the slow, painstaking process of learning new ways.

When we hop around from one technique to another, we never reach any depth in any one technique. It is like digging many shallow holes in the ground to make a well - but what is required is to dig just one deep one. So it can be seen that doubt sits on the next layer of resistance. It is very subtle, but very effective. Doubt causes the mind to run around, opening the door in effect to many thoughts - each with their resultant reaction. We become confused and muddled and sink back into the quagmire of reacting and unconsciousness. We find ourselves on level one again. It is like a game of snakes and ladders really. Alot of fun when we see all this. We can start to chuckle to ourselves and say - yep - "I did it again." When we don't understand the growth process, we tend to chastise ourselves and call ourselves ridiculous names. Yep, back to level one again to deal with self-esteem hits and reaction. We need to develop compassion for ourselves. A little bit of humour.

So doubt sits very quietly niggling away at our motivation, drive for growth and change. Once again, we see that it is just thoughts. We are reacting to the thoughts with the doubt reaction. We give the doubt-thoughts more energy than they should have. We hook in. So, in this way, we need to observe the doubt-thoughts and see what they are really doing to us.

Identify the main culprit. Understand that this is resistance, a fear of change. When we have been operating a certain way for so long, there is going to be a hell of alot of energy that wants to stay that way. Fears of retribution, fears of the unknown. It is important to see, at this stage, the need of one (or more) of the aspects within us to remain the same - no change. Through very tricky self-investigations, we may even be able to understand why those aspects are fearful of change. Why the doubt is thrown up. When we see this, the more powerful part of ourselves - the one that is moving towards growth and change and completion - can move with compassion for the suffering part. We understand that growth is absolutely necessary for a feeling of wholeness and centring, but there are parts that are scared. With every step that we take, we cradle the fearful part of ourselves in our arms and reassure it. We don't drag it along screaming and kicking - it then becomes the powerful part - and we end up at stage one again. So become aware of the doubt thoughts and let go of them. The effect they can have on our journey is quite significant.

RESISTANCE TO ACTION

Go to the edge', the voice said.

'No!' they said. 'We will fall.'

'Go to the edge,' the voice said.

'No!' they said. 'We will be pushed over.'

'Go to the edge,' the voice said.

So they went

and they were pushed

and they flew

The complement part of this is the resistance to action. Action is a prime part of growth. If we don't do any actions to achieve our goal, then how are we going to achieve our goal?

The problem comes with us living totally in our mind. We think about it. We contemplate what we are going to do. We are not saying that we should leave the mind behind and just totally jump into action. Some contemplation may be necessary. The unfortunate thing is that we remain in the contemplation stage and never venture onto the doing stage.

The other point is, that when we are venturing into unknown territory, we have really no idea what it is going to be like. We have never experienced this before. It is a totally new experience. The mind will choke on this fact. Fear. How can we possibly use the known experiences of the past to give us confidence to proceed into the unknown. It is like a brick wall suddenly materialises and bars us from movement. The longer we contemplate the resistance, the less chance we have to break through. The brick wall is once again fear. And we often feel it as such. We get hooked into the fearfulness of doing the action, we are at level one again.

We can experience this resistance to change by the inability to let go of an old way of dealing with something. No matter how much we want to, we just can't let go. It is like we are standing on the edge of a precipice looking over - will we be able to fly or not. Fear of the unknown. We operate in a certain way for so long that it is known. I know that if I act this way, this will happen. It is known - or so we think. Even if it means suffering, we choose the known path because it seems much easier. So if we are guilt bound and chose to let go of the guilty feeling (thoughts), what is left? We don't know. We have never tried it before. There is a hole in the game plan.