Change the image.

The techniques of writing the words down or singing them can be used when the worry is in the form of words. But what if the obsession is an image? In that case, you need to modify that picture in some way, or to replace it with another image. For example, if you imagine your boss yelling at you, replace it with a picture of you and your boss having a pleasant conversation. If you imagine yourself dying of cancer, see yourself at 101 years old, smiling, rocking on your porch, surrounded by your family. If you have just imagined yourself slapping your child, picture yourself slowly, lovingly stroking the child's hair.

Or close your eyes and imagine your worry having some physical form. Place it on a cloud right in front of you. See the cloud begin to float away. Imagine that the farther away the cloud floats, the smaller the obsession becomes and the more relaxed and comfortable you feel.

Make sure that as you see these new images, you also begin to shift from distressing feelings to pleasant ones. Choose images that will make you feel comfortable, relaxed, humored or pleasant, so that they can replace your anxiety and worry.

Another useful approach is to replay the obsessional image but change the frightening parts of the image in some cartoon-like fashion. For example, if you are intimidated by your boss's criticism, see her about two feet tall and yourself next to her as your normal size. When she attempts to yell at you, see bubbles coming out of her mouth instead of words. In this same way, if you have frightening, repetitive images of stabbing someone with a knife or scissors, you can replay those images immediately after they occur. If a knife was used in your image, change the knife into Styrofoam and make it three feet long. If it was a pair of scissors, turn it into Silly Putty and see it drooping in your hand.

Once you've made that shift away from your intense anxiety, by singing the obsession, writing it down, altering the imagery, or any other changes that you create for yourself that would shift your emotion, then turn your attention to other activities in your life. Don't create a void after the shift, because the mind is going to go to whatever next thought has the strongest emotion. So, if you've got a bunch of nice, easy little thoughts and images, and then you have this thought that's terrifying, your mind's going to go right back to what is fearful. So turn your attention to some new activities.

It may take you a while before this technique gives you benefits. Some obsessions feel so strong that you won't be able to let go of them right away. Nonetheless, continue to practice this approach as a way to get some perspective on your irrational worries.

Self-Help Practice 3: Let Go of Worries and Physical Tensions

Let's review briefly. When you first notice yourself obsessing, begin by accepting it. Then choose either to postpone the obsession or modify the way you are obsessing.

After you have done either of those two, then your next task is to let go of those worries and return to your daily activities. If you're like most people, you will become physically tense and anxious when you try to stop these thoughts, so you also need to let go of those tensions.

There's two steps to take at this point. The first is to decide to stop the intrusive thoughts or images and reinforce your decision with positive statements to yourself. Mentally support yourself by saying such things as, "That thought isn't helpful to me right now; now is not the time to think about this; this is irrational, I'm going to let it go; I'm not about to argue with this thought." Literally sub-vocalize this kind of statement, and help yourself believe your own words. Don't just mentally recite lines you don't hold to be true.

Before you practice any of these options, be sure that you are really committed to getting rid of the particular worries you are addressing. Make this decision during a time when you are not in the throes of your obsessions--when you are feeling relatively calm and can gain perspective. Make sure this is a firm decision. Then choose an automatic response that reflects your position. For instance, you might decide that the next time you notice that you're worrying, you will write down, verbatim, every thought that comes into your mind until you start repeating your statements. Then you will tell yourself, "I know these worries are irrational. I'm ready to move on now."

So the first step in letting go of your obsessions is to make this clear and committed statement of intent. The second is to practice some brief relaxation technique. There are a few simple straightforward breathing skills that can be used at this time to help with letting go of your tensions. In the Don't Panic Self-Help Kit, I have created a separate tape to help you practice those skills. When you are ready to learn them, listen two or three times to the tape entitled "Practicing Your Breathing Skills." Your ability to relax your body on cue in a brief period of time may require some repetition of these skills. So once you learn the breathing skills--like the Calming Breath or Calming Counts-- practice them 10 - 15 times a day for several weeks. They take less than a minute and a half to practice. So use them during times of transition, such as right after you get off the phone or while waiting in the car at a stoplight. Then they will be ready for you during tense times.

Again, let me advise you to use breathing skills to help you when you are letting go of your obsessions and trying to relax your body and quiet your mind. They are a very helpful part of your program. So if you are using the Kit, start listening to the breathing skills tape in the next day or two, and learn to apply those techniques.