|
Page 9 of 12
STEP 6: Handle your worries
Even after you decide to trust the airline industry, your mind may continue to scare you with "what if . . ." thoughts. ("What if something does go wrong!", "What if people see that I'm nervous!", or "What if I have a panic attack!") These worries are simply "noise": distractions, ways to make you uncomfortable.
You will want to get that noise out of your head, to clear your mind so that you can have more enjoyable flights. You will need some special skills to get rid of them, and I describe most of them in Step 8 of the Panic Attack Self-Help Program. Here is a summary.
Worries as "noise"
Let's say that, even though there has been some recent incident in the airline industry, you are able to reassure yourself about the unlikely chance of this incident occurring again. If you then continue to worry, you can say, "This is really 'noise.' I gathered the information I needed, and I trust the industry. So I am choosing to fly, and now I want to fly as comfortably as possible."
Once you make that decision, that's half the battle. You now need to address your worries head on, because worries don't usually dissolve in the face of logic. Now you must apply different skills to reduce the "noise" of your worries.
Before you do anything else, take a firm stand: "I am going to handle these worries that keep popping up again and again. They just start running in my mind and keep me awake at night. They are preventing me from flying comfortably." You cannot take half a stand here. You must fully commit yourself to confronting your worries as noise that you want to get rid of.
Then, you have to plan for those moments when you begin worrying. What happens when those worries start? As you know from your own experience, you feel scared, tense, and have difficulty concentrating on anything besides your fears.
Your first move: add some support
It's probably becoming clear now that everything you say during these times will have an influence on how you feel. The statements that will increase your problems will be ones that start with, "I can't . . .," such as, "I can't let people see me this way," "I can't be anxious right now," "I can't let this anxiety get any worse," or "I can't handle these feelings."
So, let's find some statements that will support your comfort. We are looking for statements that give you the message, "I can stop thinking those worried thoughts now."
If you are worried about your symptoms, then the strongest kinds of statements start with "It's okay . . ." and "I can . . . ." For instance, "It's okay to be nervous," and, "I can handle these feelings." As I mentioned earlier, these statements reflect you willingness to accept your symptoms. They are permissive statements; they give you options. Those options make you feel less trapped. When you feel less trapped, you won't feel so uncomfortable.
There are many other statements that might feel supportive to you. For instance, "These feelings I am having are uncomfortable, but they're not dangerous." Other examples are: "These [negative] thoughts aren't helping me. I can let them go." "I can stop these worried thoughts now." "This is only anxiety." "I deserve to feel comfortable here."
If your worries include concerns about the flight, then respond to those negative thoughts with positive ones that you can believe in. Here are some examples:
- "These pilots are well-trained professionals whom I can trust."
- "This plane is safe."
- "Turbulence may feel uncomfortable, but it's not dangerous."
- "This is not an emergency."
When you are worried, find statements that will help you let go of negative thoughts. Think about what you need to hear to reverse your worried thinking. Look for statements that allow you to then say, "It's okay to relax now." But don't just mouth those words. Find statements you can believe in, then work on believing them.
Now we will build on this opening move with two techniques: thought-stopping and postponing.
|
