STEP 2: Accept Your Feelings

All of these next five points are a summary of the primary themes covered in the book Don't Panic, Revised Edition. I will review them briefly here, and again encourage you to read Part II of the book for a more comprehensive understanding (see Resources).

Whenever you begin to get anxious and panicky -- whether before or during a flight -- accept these symptoms. Don't fight or try to hold them back.

If you struggle against your anxious feelings, you will cause an increase in the symptoms you are trying to reduce! Your heart will race more, your palms will sweat, you'll feel more lightheaded and dizzy, your stomach will become more tense. So when you notice your symptoms, tell yourself, "It's OK I'm feeling this way. I expect to be nervous right now. I can handle this." Then work on believing those thoughts, not just repeating the words.

How your mind and body keep you anxious

I assume that you are reading this section not because you have had one uncomfortable time on a plane, but several. Why do these anxious thoughts and feelings keep returning?

Let's assume that you have had some flight experience that you consider bad or traumatic. It may be a situation you were involved in, or it could be a vicarious experience of stories you have heard. In either case, let's also assume this traumatic experience is fresh in your memory. Here is what occurs when you get uncomfortable again.

• Think about flying
• Remember a past problem
• Imagine that happening to you in the future
• Your body goes on guard
• Worry about your symptom

YOU THINK ABOUT FLYING.

Perhaps you are out taking a walk in the park and hear a plane overhead. Or maybe you are reflecting on the possibility of taking a flight in a few weeks to go on vacation, or starting a new job that's going to require you to fly as part of your responsibilities. Anything that reminds you of flying can lead to your discomfort.

YOU REMEMBER A PAST PROBLEM.

Why would something as minor as hearing the sound of a plane cause you to feel tense? Any kind of stimulus such as this can trigger your negative memory, because your mind will retrieve the past relevant event that has the strongest emotion. As I mentioned earlier, when you remember that event, something interesting happens: your body responds to the imagery almost as if the event were happening again. You, in turn, get anxious.

YOU IMAGINE THE PROBLEM HAPPENING IN THE FUTURE.

If you are thinking of the possibility of taking a flight soon, then your mind won't stop there. In the back of your mind, you will probably ask the question, "Can this happen to me in the future? How will I handle it?" To assess those questions, your mind will visually put you in that uncomfortable future scene.

YOUR BODY GOES ON GUARD.

Your body becomes directly involved in that experience and will respond appropriately to the moment. Only it will be responding to your imagery, not to reality. Even if you are taking a leisurely bath in the comfort of your own home, if you start seeing yourself on a plane, feeling claustrophobic, and not handling it well, then your body will give you symptoms of anxiety.

If you imagine yourself having trouble, then your mind will send your body the message, "This is an emergency!" Your brain sends a signal to its hypothalamus, and the hypothalamus sends a signal to your adrenal glands, which are on top of your kidneys. Your adrenal glands will secrete a hormone called epinephrine. (We used to call it "adrenaline.") Epinephrine will stimulate the production of specific physical changes: the eyes dilate to improve vision, the heart rate increases to circulate blood more quickly to vital organs, respiration increases to provide more oxygen to the rapidly circulating blood, the muscles tense in the arms and legs to help you move quickly and precisely.

This is your body's emergency response, gearing up to help you in a crisis, the same response that helps when you are about to fall or when your car goes into a skid in the rain or snow. So we don't want to change your body's response; it is a valuable part of your survival skills. Instead, we want to stop your mind from sending your body the message that, "This is an emergency!" every time you think about being on a plane.