Second, during a simulation, you can set up certain responses from others that would be more difficult to create in "real life" settings. For instance, if you fear that others will interrupt you during your speech and criticize your main points, it is both impractical and self-defeating to mess up your actual presentation badly enough to receive such criticism. In this case, design a role-play with friends where the "audience" interrupts you with criticism.

Third, as I mentioned earlier, some socially uncomfortable events are brief contacts. Yet remaining in a distressing situation for extended periods is one of the best ways to improve your comfort. Therefore, it may be necessary to repeat a brief encounter several times during a single practice session. For instance, you might want to simulate calling someone on the phone to ask for a date. Since that Task may only take three minutes, plan to practice it with a friend as the "potential date" four or five times in a row. For this same reason, you may need to set up practice sessions in which you sign your name repetitively while your friends gather around and look over your shoulder. Similar structured practice can help you become comfortable with looking someone in the eye as you pass, saying hello in the hall at work, shaking hands, answering a question in class, or bumping into someone you know.

5. Learn to perform while anxious.

Learning to tolerate your anxiety symptoms should be one of your top goals. In any social setting, practice tolerating whatever anxiety you experience, to the best of your ability, using the coping skills you have learned. Try not to escape because of your discomfort. This is a learning opportunity for you consciously and it is a way for you to contribute to your body's unconscious habituation process. Don't just enter the feared situation, grit your teeth and bear up. Actively engage in your coping skills. Over time, you will discover the paradoxical truth: the more you accept your uncomfortable symptoms, the less bothersome they'll be, and the greater likelihood they will diminish.

6. Give special attention to your self-talk.

Throughout your practice -- before, during and after -- listen for your Negative Observer comments and interrupt them.

7. Do something every day to confront your fears.

Frequency is important. Find every opportunity to practice. Don't just wait for a natural time or setting. Purposely generate Tasks that put you face-to-face with the situations you fear, as a way to practice your skills.

Refer to The Seven Issues of Recovery and How to Get Comfortable any time you need to clarify your special concerns.

next: Need Extra Help Overcoming Social Anxiety? Dr. Wilson As Your Coach