Anil Coumar, a psychotherapist specializing in integrating psychological and spiritual growth, discussed spirituality and spiritual thinking and incorporating spirituality and spiritual practice into your life -- improving your mental well-being. We talked about the practice of meditation, learning to self soothe and engaging in soothing activity to get in touch with your essential self. These are just some of the tools people can use to improve their mental health.

Mr. Coumar also addressed some audience members' concerns about their not feeling worthy of God's attention; that they were not good enough to talk with God. The conversation covered how to feel better about yourself and how we can learn to accept ourselves and find mental peace.

David Roberts is the HealthyPlace.com moderator.

The people in blue are audience members.

To read transcripts of previous chat conferences, click here.

Online Conference Transcript

David: Good Evening. I'm David Roberts. I'm the moderator for tonight's conference. I want to welcome everyone to HealthyPlace.com.

Our topic tonight is "Spirituality in the Healing Process." Our guest is psychotherapist, Anil Coumar. Mr. Coumar graduated from medical school in India and later came to the United States, where he now works at the University of Washington mental health clinic and also has a private practice.

Good evening Mr. Coumar, and welcome to HealthyPlace.com. We appreciate you being our guest tonight.

Anil Coumar: Thank you for inviting me.

David: Can you please tell us a bit more about yourself?

Anil Coumar: I was born and raised in India, where I spent the first 25 years of my life. I completed medical school and my residency in psychiatry in India, then I came to England and started training to be a psychotherapist, while working as a physician. I trained in Transactional Analysis psychotherapy, and in 1992, I moved to the US and completed a master's degree in psychology. I have been working at the University of Washington since 1994.

I have a deep interest in the role of spiritual practice in mental well being. I believe that sometimes psychotherapy can be a little pessimistic; incorporating spirituality enhances the work of the psychotherapist.

David: So we are all on the same page, can you please give us your definition of "spirituality?"

Anil Coumar: Spirituality is the experience of interconnectedness of all things... It is more than a belief.

David: Can you clarify that for us?

Anil Coumar: Normally we feel disconnected from ourselves and everything around us, and I believe this happens because of what is happening in our minds, the internal chatter. Once this internal chatter shuts down, then we can reach a place of silence. When you reach the place of silence, you feel love, connection, and interconnectedness.

David: Many people who come to HealthyPlace.com are suffering from depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders and other mental health problems. How can they use spirituality to help themselves feel better?

Anil Coumar: Spirituality is not something we can use to change the reality. Spirituality is understanding things as they are. Now, when it comes to depression, we have always been trained to do one of two things:

We have been trained to either suppress it or to express it. The trouble with these 2 approaches is that they have a way of prolonging the depression. For example, if I suppress my anger it might come out as a physical symptom, such as an ulcer, or I may engage in passive aggressive behavior. If I express my anger, I have to deal with the consequences. You might hurt somebody or hurt yourself, therefore prolonging the emotion. There is a 3rd approach, which is to stay with the emotion (depression) every time a problem arises.

We are always looking for solutions. That approach is sometimes useful, but if the problem keeps occurring, we need to look at the problem. The same way if we stay with an emotion, there is a great chance that we will come to a place of insight about our problem or situation.

Whenever I tell someone or ask someone to stay with the problem, they are often confused. How does one stay with the problem? This is where the practice of meditation comes in and is useful. In the kind of meditation I practice, one has to stay with the bodily or somatic sensations. The rationale behind it is that every time there is an emotion, it evokes a physiological change in the body which we can feel as a physical sensation. For example, when we are anxious, the heart beats faster, the hands trembles, or we feel butterflies in our stomach. Normally, when we get an unpleasant sensation, our impulse is to get rid of it. However, if we stay with the sensation we will learn about the nature of it.