The Peaceful Balance

Getting Off The Rollercoaster

As I grow in awareness everyday, I come to understand that any fear or concern that comes my way, is my ego trying to get me to avoid a situation that might bring me some degree of discomfort or pain. I find that in many situations, the ego is evaluating probabilities that in reality do not apply, but genuine fears serving to protect me can still easily be identified by the connecting to my truth. It can be the same for you.

Remember the animal heritage of the ego, its duty is that of survival and we will always be influenced by this duty because it is part of our humanness. By understanding this fully, we are able to see that our first responses and actions may not necessarily apply. The intervention of our ego will always be with us, so by knowing this, we can come to a peaceful balance between the input that it has to offer for any given situation, and the input that our instinct will also put forth.

THE EGO HAS ITS PLACE:

We now know that ego is a normal part of being human, but we also are now very aware that it has its own particular place in our lives. We know that if allowed, it can dominate or even get out of control. We under stand the concept of instinct more fully, and celebrate our spirituality from a knowing that this is where our significance and true self is found.

Becoming proficient in the process of self examination, I found the ego began to take on new angles of thought. There were times when I became mentally exhausted from the continual process of scrutiny. From trying so hard to learn to stop and think before I would perform any particular action, I found myself at a point where I needed to prepare for another facet of developing awareness. I found I became tired of thinking so much, that the effort of making an effort seemed not to be worth the effort. (That's a mouthful). At that moment, my ego would come in and criticise me for being lazy. It a crazy scenario and it's very disheartening. I felt like I was in a no win situation.

How strange and complex this ego is. If we maintain that the ego is fear based, why would it condemn me for not trying to use an opportunity to expand and grow? Since the ego relates its fear base to patterns or standards of behaviour, the options it will deliver will be referenced to some established or regular conduct. If we are in the process of changing our life, one would immediately think that there is now nothing regular happening anymore, but if we stop to consider, we can find a link between our old thinking and our new thinking. If we are involved in change, and that change is continual and ongoing, then this very process is a regular part of our life. The new set of patterns and standards of behaviour that our ego will relate to, is the pattern of regular change.

Here I can see why it condemned me. I had slipped away from the new pattern of scrutiny and change, to echo an old way of thinking. From its fear base, it is fearing that I might slip back into old patterns. It is actually fearing itself; it is fearing its own method of operation.

The good news in this situation, is to know that the road to personal healing has now established itself without doubt. The old role model patterns residing in the subconscious are becoming redundant, and are now being replaced through the efforts and determination to become new. You would be transforming your inner most self through the Power of Love.

Remember that the ego operates on the pain and concerns that are upon us at the moment. Again, it is bringing about responses through its ingrained duty. In one respect, it is not rational, it is not logical, it is animal. This only proves to me more and more, how primitive this aspect of our nature can really be. It is still only trying to do what it thinks is right which also shows us how very easily it can cause us confusion. To think, we let this part of our nature play such a dominant part in our lives. We have been letting it get away with murder for too long.

When you encounter such a conflict, you must remember two important things. Firstly; It will be your ego who talks in excuses and rationalisations; not your TRUE SELF. And secondly, you need to call on an affirmation to assert your GOODNESS and COMMITMENT to growing in strength and Love. For myself I would say..."I am a good person, and I am trying my best". (For yourself, something else might be more appropriate, but keep its essence based on simple Truth).

I knew I was weary; I knew I was sick and tired of the relentless excuses that would follow my every action, but I also knew that from a wrong choice, I could allow these negative thoughts to gain strength and stop me from becoming a whole and fulfilled person. On the other hand, I also knew that one day my life would turn around and wonderful things would happen for me and the ones that I love. I knew I had to be Patient, I knew I had to have Faith, I knew I had Trust. I believed! ... I've always believed.

Now whenever I ever I have a fear or hesitation in doing some thing, I am able to ask myself peacefully...

"What is it, that I fear ?... and why do I fear it ?"

Upon recognition of my fears, I find that all to often they are quite unrealistic and unreasonable, and that everything will be fine. When I have to, I find that I am now able to go about finding and executing solutions much more effectively. I do this by separating the Truth from the Fear. Sometimes I have to summon up courage, but I know that if step out against the fear, I will feel good about myself. Sometimes I still give in to the fear, but I acknowledge this as a choice; I may still be a slave to fear in one respect, but I am no longer a blind slave.