A Short Guide for the Focusing 'Coach' - Short Guide for the Focusing Coach

Written by Ilan Shalif, Ph.D.

Whenever you ask the trainee to think or focus or make experimentations, use the minor suggesting tone, that is as far as possible away from an authoritative tone. Make your suggestions as open to refusal as possible. This way, you minimize the dangers of both excessive compliance and exhausting "resistance".

Beware of suggestions that make the trainee too compliant - he may lose his enthusiasm and diminish his vital selectivity in taking your advice. Remember, you are only a temporary guest in the trainee's life and soul - not his partner or a permanent tenant.

Do not forget to focus on your own felt sensations - the ongoing ones and those which emerge as a result of the developments during sessions and between them, especially those related to trainees. This will diminish the effects of "counter-transference" and other trash-programs which may hinder the focusing training and your general emotional climate.

Hints and tips

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Remember to review sporadically the tactics used by the trainee and the problems he is tackling. Often, one gets into the habit of using a restricted number of tactics applied to restricted areas of his life. Though it might be wise to do this during certain periods and in a crisis, the patterns should be broken each time the circumstances change - and this happens very often.

As part of the effort to change the opinion of the trainee about the felt sensations of the body, stress that their nature is first and foremost a kind of notice from the emotional subsystem to the awareness, and their quality as pleasant or unpleasant is only secondary. Thus, suggest to him that it is better to prolong the focusing on each of the felt sensations for the longest duration possible and curtail only those that are not needed at the time of their occurrence.

Even experienced trainees tend to disregard the fact that the main contribution of the focusing is their intensification of the updating, mending and upgrading of the programs involved. From this point of view, the prolongation of a felt sensation contributes more than the hastening of its fading.

Company facilitates attention allocation. Stress this to the trainee who skips sessions. Stress this also to the one who complains about the insufficient effort made by him between sessions and the "shallowness" of his focusing while doing homework.

Stress the difference between the focusing on the felt sensation while being in a strong emotional state, and the expression of it or acting impulsively because of that felt sensation. It is important to communicate frequently the notion that everything qualifies for internal focusing, even if it is inappropriate to act upon it, or to share it with others.

It is essential to show the trainee that he can learn to make the distinction between the various components of the emotional processes i.e. to sever the automatic ties and connections between the experiential component of emotion (including that of the tendency to act), and the behavioral or expressive components.

If needed, dedicate considerable effort to pondering this topic and the recycling of related felt sensations. This is especially important for the levelers who exclude too many emotions, sensations and contents related to them from their awareness - lest they lose control and act upon them. It is also essential for the sharpeners who are often flooded by certain emotions and tend to act impulsively on their behalf. It is most important for those who oscillate between these two modes.

At every opportunity, convey the confidence that any felt sensation one can focus on is always a blessing, as it is a chance to update and mend the trashy programs that aroused it. Whenever a trainee describes an intense unpleasant feeling that has defied his focusing attempts, convey your sympathy. Assure him that the gains derived from focusing are as high as the price paid in focusing effort - independent of the alleviation in the felt sensation (derived most of the time as a token reward for the diligent focuser). Then remind him that the best results are those derived from focusing on moderate felt sensations.

Whenever the trainee introduces a new theme, whether by contemplation or by description of a felt sensation, emphasize these themes as new horizons awaiting his focusing.

When a trainee is stuck with a project that does not yield enough felt sensations needed for regular focusing, suggest he try the self-provoking approach, the G recycling section of chapter 5, part IV. The most prominent on the list are the verbal exclamations that describe the target topic - like: "I am afraid" or "I am afraid of ...." and the paradoxical negation-sayings.

Whenever one is "hunting" for a felt sensation related to a specific content, the negative sayings ("I am not...", I do not...", "I never...", etc. ) might be the best means. A single recitation of one of these, followed by a concentrated focusing is usually the fastest and most "elegant" way of "fishing" for the right felt sensation. (It seems that this is the best and funniest line for recruiting a felt sensation. When one recites these exclamations to oneself silently, it works even better than when doing it aloud.)

When, after the first few sessions, the trainee is Un-selective in his focusing on the ongoing stream of daily experiences, gently try to redirect him. Stress the different contributions of the various trashy emotional supra-programs. Try to point out those that are hindering him the most at the time. Show him that he can invite the appropriate felt sensations to aid him in tackling these specific trashy-programs. Explain to him how one wastes so much effort by Un-selective investment of effort.