A Short Guide for the Focusing 'Coach'

When a trainee complains about indecisiveness, hesitations, ambivalence and difficulties in reaching a certain decision, demonstrate to him the work of "the inner guide". Show him that he can initiate a dialog with his unconsciousness and thus become "his own oracle". Show him that he can "ask" his unconscious for an opinion on various aspects of his life and potential acts and anticipated happenings, and then focus on the resulting felt sensations, created by the questions. Emphasize to him that this procedure is both an activation of the inner guide, and a means of recruiting felt sensations to be used through focusing to clear his path to a longed-for future.

This context is suitable for the advancement of the training of the focuser to treat the felt sensations as a general nonverbal communication from his mind to his awareness, and not only as a target for focusing.

While training in the "economical talking to oneself" technique of provocations, use positive and negative exclamations about the world, oneself and one's emotions. Stress the advantages of this procedure which needs less resources than other tactics, but do not fail to mention its deficiencies.

Be as flexible as you can! there is not any "one and only way to do the focusing" at any given moment or particular problem. So be an expert in letting the trainee decide for himself, during the training sessions with you as well as when you are not there. Thus the trainee will feel more competent and treat the focusing "homework" as his own. The better he feels during the sessions with you, the more he will remember what you have trained him to do, and the better will be his focusing during the week.

Do not forget to focus on your own felt sensations during coaching; prefer to focus on those related to what is going on in the session. Remember the mighty effect of a good model, on the learning processes of the "modeling" type. Exploit the positive effects of modeling to the utmost by sharing with the trainee your past and present experiences as a focuser, and be careful not to provide a bad example.

However, do not forget the difference between the role of a professional coach and an intimate friend. Mixing these roles is deleterious for the focusing training, for the morale of the trainee and for fair interpersonal relations. It is especially important to keep these two kinds of roles clearly separated when the trainee is an acquaintance, a friend, a relative, or one who is involved in an intimate relationship with you.

Beware of the over-psychologized trainee!! Many trainees have been patients of psychotherapists, or at least know a lot about it. They have preconceptions about their role as trainees and very often confuse it with that of patients in therapy. If you do not frustrate them too much or too rigidly, they will eventually yield and gradually accept their role of trainees.

Beware of "transference"! though it is usually a part of psychotherapy settings, it is not restricted to them. Working with a trainee is only another kind of interpersonal relationship. Thus mutual feelings develop. Trust and other basic emotions intensify. A certain measure of intimacy tends to develop. And the staunch adherence to the formal roles of trainee and coach is never kept.

Gradually, a tendency to involve in the training relations other patterns, supra-programs, and other activation programs may endanger the harmonious teamwork needed for the training to succeed. Therefore, beware of this and continuously gently but firmly push and pull the interaction toward the main roles and away from dangerous deviations.

It seems that the best way to deal with too strong transference is to let the trainee (and the coach) focus on the felt sensations involved, and restrict to the minimum the verbal treatment of that topic.

However, do not treat all personal references as expressions of "transference". Generally these are merely relevant information and natural interpersonal communication to be expected in any team work. Usually, "a matter of fact" response is the best reply to both kinds of communications. Thus, it satisfies a "simple" communication as well as neutralizing a "transferential" one. So, even if "transference" effects are suspected, there is usually no need to clear the point or to deal with it.

Many trainees wish to understand the roots and reasons for their emotional and behavioral problems. Many more feel uneasy from time to time when getting rid of problems they have never really understood. In order to discourage the new focuser from investing too much impotent effort in understanding the root of his trouble, certain steps have to be taken:

1. It is better to explain to the trainee from the start, that all the problems he wish to deal with result from trash-programs.
2. Explain to him the fact that the body (especially the brain and mind system) knows the problems involved and their roots, in a much better way than any verbal or other conscious thought can achieve.
3. It is also recommended to advise him that the mending processes are of an entirely different nature than any verbal or other symbolic approach. Stress the fact that these processes are hard to explain and understand verbally, but dealt with much better and more easily nonverbally. Use for this explanation the detailed description of the natural biofeedback processes.
4. Assure him that, at first, all the help the mending and updating programs and processes need and ask is to allocate to them more attentional resources through paying attention to the felt sensations, silently if possible.
5. It is also a good policy to soothe the psychologically-oriented ones and other intellectuals, by telling them that during the advanced steps it will be different. Tell them that the higher thinking processes will be recruited later too, in the service of recycling stored feelings.
6. Assure him that at a later phase, when the problems start to dissolve, or after they have been solved, it will be easier to understand them (or rather what they were).
7. Convey to him your firm stand and belief that it is easier first to solve the problems and then try to understand them than vice versa.