The Journey

Tolstoy, literary genius (and political and social activist during the later years of his life) was characterized as a narcissist in his youth. He had no doubt that he was extraordinary, and couldn't imagine living the life of an ordinary individual. The thought of raising a family and settling down to a regular routine made him shudder. His passionate nature demanded intensity, danger, speed, a multitude of experiences, and life on the edge. When he finally did marry, not surprisingly, his initial adjustment to living within the bounds of a life-long commitment was a difficult one, leaving him often feeling overwhelmed and restless. As time went on however, as he matured and witnessed the growth and development of his children, he began to experience a sense of contentment for the first time in his life. During this period, he wrote the following to Alexandra Tolstoy:

In can take years sometimes to shift from exploration and integration to the movement phase, a process that typically involves growth and change on a personal level.

PHASE THREE: EXPANSION

In 1874, at the age of 35, Frances E. Willard was without a husband, without savings, without a job, and without a sense of direction. It was during this unhappy and uncertain time in her life that she became involved with a movement which would be instrumental in charting her life's course - the Association for the Advancement of Women. At the end of her impressive career as a social reformer, Willard had managed to build the largest national organization of women in the nineteenth century - the Women's Christian Temperance Movement. In her book, originally titled in 1895, "A Wheel Within A Wheel," she utilizes the metaphor of learning to ride a bicycle (an activity few women knew how to do at the time) for effectively negotiating the challenges of life. While discussing those periods when she made very little progress, she recalls a teacher who informed her that:

"...there were growing days and stationary days, and she had always noticed that just after one of these last dull, depressing, and dubious intervals she seemed to get an uplift and went ahead better than ever."

Willard's recollection serves to illustrate the fact that as one initiates the process of change, the motion is not always continuous, in fact, there are often many stops and starts.

"If you want faith, you have to work for it." Flannery O' Connor

The flow of the quake is never stagnant. It's continually in motion, spiraling outward and shifting much of what it encounters. As we ourselves stir and evolve in response to the quake, we gradually gather momentum until we're no longer only transforming our own lives, but triggering alterations (however small) in our own tiny corner of the world. For instance, if I've begun treating my spouse with greater love and consideration in recognition of how precious he is to me, he in turn is likely to respond by dealing with me more lovingly. If I stop striking out at my child in anger, she may be less likely to wound another. If I choose to smile more often and more genuinely at strangers, it's likely that I'll encounter more kindness when I venture out into the world. If I plant flowers and nurture trees in my backyard, I will be greeted by a more beautiful world when I look out my window.

As we begin to reap the rewards of both the small and more substantive changes we've made in our lives, we grow and mature. One major hallmark of maturity is the ability to extend our awareness and concern beyond just ourselves and towards others as well. It's during this process of moving beyond the self centered "I" to include the sacred "We," that the convulsions of the quake give way to reawakening and rebirth. When one is reborn from out of the chaos of the quake, one stands firmly rooted in the world as a fully differentiated "I" who is also aware that he or she is also fundamentally connected to all of the other equally essential beings who share the earth.

Rama J. Vernon became intimately acquainted with "We" during his travels in the Soviet Union at the height of the cold war in 1984. Before going to the USSR, Vernon, like most of his peers, considered this cold, northern land to be the "Evil Empire" that Ronald Regan described. And yet as he visited Lenin's tomb, the Kremlin, Red Square, schools, churches, and individual homes, what he found in the land of his enemy - were the faces of his friends. He recalls visiting the marketplace in Leningrad where an elderly woman approached him. She asked him if he was Italian. He said no. She then asked if he was American and he responded affirmatively. She immediately sank to her knees, placing her hands together as if in prayer and implored him, "Mir...Mir" (peace...Peace.) He pulled her to her feet and they embraced. It was then that he realized that Russians and Americans fear one another and pray for peace in equal earnestness. "As I crossed the line to 'the other side', I found that no sides exist - we are part of the same humanity."

The lessons Vernon absorbed during his travels prompted him to devote his lifework to the achievement of world peace. He's learned that there are no borders or boundaries that exist "between the souls of people...I have learned that our old, secure world is painfully dissolving into the dawn of a new world order and that old structures must crumble for this new world to be born."

Individuals evolving in the third phase of a Birthquake continue to encounter periods of pain and uncertainty. However, they've come to recognize that it's just as likely to be a person, as an event, which will be instrumental in helping them through. They've learned that in order to successfully navigate through their life journey, guides and companions will be required from time to time. It's in recognition of this truth that they not only hold out their hand to assist others, but also reach out for guidance and support when necessary.