Psychotherapist discusses influence of feminist therapists on her way of practicing therapy.

My work has been influenced greatly by feminist therapists such as Toni Ann Laidlaw, Cheryl Malmo, Joan Turner, Jan Ellis, Diane Lepine, Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Joan Hamerman, Jean Baker Miller, and Miriam Greenspan -- to name only a few. I've found that what seems to be the universal core of such therapy is that clients and therapist must operate as equals in the therapy endeavor. This perspective fits well within my own personal values and belief system.

In her book, A New Approach to Women and Therapy" (1983), Miriam Greenspan explores the impact of "traditional" and "growth" therapies on women as well as describes "feminist" therapy in action. In doing so she offers a great deal of insight regarding the role of the therapist in feminist work including:

1) That the therapist's most essential tool is herself as a person.

There have been so many occasions in my years as a therapist that I've sat speechless with a client, knowing all too well that there are no words that will comfort, justify, or explain the pain away. There have been all too many times when all my years of studying the human psyche and condition still render me helpless to alter a particular circumstance, belief, or feeling. On these occasions, I can only offer my support, my caring, and my understanding. I'm humbled at these moments but not disempowered. I've learned that in joining another human being in his or her pain; in being a steady and present witness; in respecting the magnitude and depth of their feelings, I can't lead them out of the darkness, but I can stand beside them. Anyone who has ever been deeply afraid or saddened recognizes that an outstretched hand can be a true gift.

2) That it is essential therapy be demystified from the beginning in order for clients to achieve a sense of their own power (and responsibility, I would add) in therapy. Greenspan observes that, "Therapy must be geared to helping the client see that she must be her own rescuer - that the power she longs for is not in someone else but in herself."

I was visiting with a very special friend and fellow therapist one day discussing movies we'd seen over the years. She reminded me of a scene in a movie whose title I have long since forgotten. In this particular scene, the main character is at a party where she meets up with her therapist. They chat for a few moments and then part company. A friend approaches the main character and asks who the woman was that she had been talking to. The heroine responds, "that's no woman. That's my therapist!"

This scene illustrates the mystique that therapists often have with their clients. While intellectually our client's realize that we, too, are imperfect and possess our own difficulties and short-comings, they very often manage somehow to perceive us as somewhat "larger than life." They often look to us to provide the "right" answers, point the way, or tell them how to "fix it". Our responsibility is not to oblige them (even if we could), but to assist them in recognizing and learning to trust their own power and wisdom.

3) That rules of the therapeutic relationship should be overtly stated and mutually agreed upon. This doesn't mean that the therapist explains the rules by which the client is expected to operate, but rather that the client and therapist explore their expectations of one another together and jointly come to an agreement of what each person's role and responsibilities will be.

4) That within every symptom, no matter how painful or problematic, there exists a strength.

Helen Gahagan Douglas in The Eleanor Roosevelt We Remember" ("The Quotable Woman", Vol. Two, edited by Elaine Partnow, 1963,) wrote:

"Would Eleanor Roosevelt have had to struggle to overcome this tortuous shyness if she had grown up secure in the knowledge that she was a beautiful girl? If she hadn't struggled so earnestly, would she have been so sensitive to the struggles of others? Would a beautiful Eleanor Roosevelt have escaped from the confinements of the mid-Victorian drawing room society in which she was reared? Would a beautiful Eleanor Roosevelt have wanted to escape? Would a beautiful Eleanor Roosevelt have had the same need to be, to do?"

Perhaps Eleanor would have still accomplished all that she was to achieve in her lifetime, beautiful or not; however, it's been reported that Eleanor herself confided that her insecurity about her looks often motivated her.

Wayne Muller, in Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood (1992) observed while working with individuals who had experienced painful childhood's that, "...even as they struggled to be free, the reverberations of family sorrow continued to infect their adult lives, their loves, even their dreams. Yet, at the same time I've also noted that adults who were hurt as children inevitably exhibit a peculiar strength, a profound inner wisdom, and a remarkable creativity and insight."

In the introduction of "Healing Voices: Feminist Approaches To Therapy With Women" (1990), Laidlaw and Malmo state that feminist therapists welcome their clients' inquiries about the therapist's values, methods and orientations. They also:

(1) at appropriate times share their own experiences in order to assist their clients;

(2) encourage their clients to take an active part in making decisions about the course of therapy;

(3) and allow the client final say over the content of a session, the choice of method, and the pacing of therapeutic work.