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I've received numerous blessings as a result of my participation in community. When my husband was in the navy and we were far from home, it was the small group of fellow sailors and their families that offered us friendship and support. As a student in graduate school, I commuted with a group of students from central Maine to the University of Connecticut's Northern New England branch located in Concord, New Hampshire. We traveled in a van that we affectionately called, "The magic Bus." While we were graced with a number of fine instructors, it was the five hours on the bus to and from campus that I received my greatest education. We talked non-stop. We talked about our clients, about our successes and our failures, about what we were being taught from our instructors and what we were learning from our clients. We argued; we shared insights, wisdom's, and confessions; we complained; we celebrated, and we supported one another. One of my most cherished possessions remains a picture of us grouped together taken shortly before we graduated, once strangers, now family. Herman Hesse once wrote, "Each man's life represents a road toward himself." The road I traveled with my companions on a bus that indeed came to contain magic brought me closer to myself than I could have possibly imagined.
My parents recently moved to a small retirement community in Florida. The first thing I saw upon arriving was a group of older men working diligently as they attempted to prevent an area of their modular home park from flooding. What struck me as I watched them was that in spite of how hot the sun was and how dirty and tired they looked, it was also very clear that they were having a splendid time together. My sister and I had been terribly concerned about my parents being away for the first time in their lives from family and friends. We were amazed and delighted the first day of our visit by how quickly they had become part of a small and close knit community. They had been offered the use of their neighbors tools as they were moving in, brought hot coffee and home made goodies, and received invitations to go bike riding, swimming, golfing, and to participate in a number of other activities. Our parents were thriving here, surrounded by a small group who watched out for one another, played together, and for the most part, shared the joys and sorrows of one another's lives.
When I was a young girl I attended an AA meeting with my uncle. The level of honesty and support that existed within the room touched me. People shared stories filled with shame, loss, and redemption. Over the years, I watched a sullen and withdrawn man open like a morning glory as he was accepted and embraced by this powerful community.
The word community was derived from the Latin words, "munus" (gift) and "cum" (together). Thus the literal meaning of the term community can be interpreted as the sharing of gifts together. Participating in a community of individuals whom we can count on and share our joys and concerns with offers a multitude of gifts, precious gifts.
"I am part and parcel of the whole, and I cannot find God apart from the rest of humanity." Mahatma Gandhi
Joan Borysenko, in her very special book, A Woman's Book of Life, demonstrates the interconnection of all of life, by explaining the implications of Bell's Theorem.
"Once 2 atoms have been part of a molecule and then separated, no matter how far distant they are from one another, each atom acts as if it is still in communication with the other. Since the atoms that make up molecules are forever trading places, it is quite possible that right now you may have atoms in your body that once belonged to mother Theresa, Adolph Hitler. . . Furthermore, these atoms remain interconnected with all other atoms that they have been related to. These kinds of phenomena led Albert Einstein to observe that the perception that we are separate from one another is an optical delusion of consciousness, about as clear of a statement of interdependence as can be made."
"We are shifting from part-centered consciousness to whole- centered consciousness." Catherine Burton
Michael Ventura in, We've Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy, described an experiment conducted in the early 1960's by Charles Tart in the following excerpt:
" Person A is put into a sensory deprivation room and wired for brain waves, skin resistance, heart rate, muscular activity, and respiratory changes. Person B is put into another such room, also wired, and is electrically shocked at random intervals. Person A is then told to guess exactly when Person B is being shocked.
The results were as follows: Person A's conscious guesses 'showed no relation to the actual events.' But person A's 'polygraph reading indicated significant physiological changes at those instances when Person B was randomly shocked.' The conclusion: 'We may say the event did not register on the subject's conscious mind. But obviously he was
conscious of the event - on a fundamental biological level. The subject's body apparently knew of these happenings that his roof-brain did not know of.'"
Tart's experiment is only one of many that indicates the profound level at which we're all connected. While me might not consciously understand or experience this connection, some piece of us is all too aware of this union, and does not escape the fear, the exploitation, and the suffering of all of which we are a part. It calls out to us in our dreams and nightmares, in the inexplicable sadness that we each feel from time to time, and in our own pain.
While connection can sometimes hurt, it can also heal. I urge everyone to participate on a regular basis in the tremendous healing and growth available to each of us when we honor our connection on a regular basis. We honor it when we reach out to help, when we share meals with friends, family, and neighbors, when we attend support groups, citizen activist meetings, PTA's, and other gatherings both formal and informal.
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