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Page 5 of 18
GRATITUDE
"The most difficult thing in the world is to appreciate what we have - until we loose it." Anonymous
How many blessings in our lives go unnoticed? It seems somehow to be the natural order of things to accentuate the bad and take the good for granted. Several years ago my friend Amy and I went off for an overnight in New Hampshire, leaving our daughters' care in our husbands' capable hands. That night Amy called home to check up on her twosome. Her husband Neil, one of the most loving and committed fathers that I have ever known, reported that they had had a "Celia" day. They played games, read stories and went for a walk, then off to the Ground Round for lunch; next, to Toy's R Us where Celia picked out a toy. They settled in back at home to watch a popular and newly released Disney video. When Celia came to the phone, and Amy asked her how her day had been, her reply was, "Mommy, Daddy didn't get me any black licorice." And so it begins...
I've learned the value of being mindful of the good things that come my way and often utilize my journal in this practice. An example of its use in this practice can be demonstrated in an entry made in March of 1994, which reads:
3-4-94
"I sit at my makeshift window-seat staring up at the snowfall swirling down, allowing myself to be mesmerized and growing dizzy from focusing on the tiny, soft points of snow. My head turns upward, stretches toward the treetops. My arm reaches up every now and then to tip my tea cup and I absent - mindedly sip warm and tangy lemon tea. I feel contentment, gratitude, and a sense of optimism that for so long was an extraordinarily rare thing.
"I watch Jacob, still a puppy, dash after a squirrel, admire his sleek and magnificent young body as it plows through the dense white field. The squirrel, though, is quicker, and as if performing a perfectly choreographed dance, swings from tree branch to tree branch high above our heads. I resist the temptation to give into a silent wish for this time to halt exactly here and now and instead resume my meditation.
"Eventually, my focus shifts to the plowman who has entered the yard. I quickly rise, pull on my heavy winter jacket and boots, search out my purse and then trudge outside with a crumpled $10.00 bill. He seems shy as he peers out his window at me and hesitantly accepts his fee. I have heard that he recently lost his job, and I study for a moment the lines now permanently engraved on his dark face. I note that he seems more relaxed these days, his eyes look more hopeful and I smile at him. I then turn and trudge toward my own truck to move it out of the way. I watch him clear a wide path and wave when he finishes. Such small details capture this last hour. It is filled with uneventful moments, never boring, simply wonderfully undemanding in a life that has often become complicated in its ongoing quest. I am thankful for the snow, the tea, the plowman, for Jacob, the warmth of my wood fire, the scent of apples wafting from my potpourri pot, and for so much more today."
I often request at the end of a session that my client share with me what they are grateful for this day. I ask for small details, I suggest that they think back and remember the little things. I also encourage them to utilize their journals a couple times a week practicing appreciation of all gifts (both great and small) that come their way.
AWAKENING THE SACRED
"Don't think: LOOK!" Wittgenstein
How many days in your life have you been cooped up inside only to hear from someone else what a beautiful day it has been? How many children have you observed shrieking in glee while you can not even remember the last time you were moved to scream out your joy? When, if ever, have you experienced throughout your entire body a deep connection to all living beings in the universe? When was the last time you closed your eyes in tremendous love and gratitude to give thanks? It is with regret that Sam Keen observes that for so many Americans, our spirits are alienated from bodies that are deadened from deprivation and neglect. He urges us to engage in acts that might bring forth their resurrection. Such activities as spending time in nature, making contact with our fellow creatures, experiencing our sensuality, connecting with our bodies, engaging in meaningful work and participating in rituals for living provide us with opportunities to experience the sacred in everyday life. Anyone who yearns to experience such sacredness needs only to open his/her heart and pay attention.
One of my favorite authors, Rachel Naomi Remen, wrote about attending a workshop where Joseph Campbell was showing participants images of the sacred. One symbol was a bronze statue of the God Shiva dancing within a circle of flames. Shiva had one foot in the air, and the other was resting on the back of a little man. The man was squatting in the dust and carefully examining something he was holding in his hands. Ramen asked Campbell what the little man was doing down there. Campbell responded, "That's a little man who's so caught up in the material world that he doesn't realize that the living God is dancing on his back."
CALLING FORTH THE SOUL
"In the last decade of the twentieth century, perhaps in response to the magnitude of our global crisis, spirituality has been coming down to Earth..." (Ronald Miller)
Thomas Moore, best-selling author, philosopher, and psychotherapist, laments that the great malady of the twentieth century has been the loss of soul. Yet his book, "Care Of The Soul: A Guide To Cultivating Depth And Sacredness In Everyday Life," quickly rose to the bestseller list, indicating that while he might be right about the loss of soul, many twentieth century inhabitants are eagerly endeavoring to relocate it.
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