SML: So it's not like I'm going to be able to go to bed tonight and say something to myself and miraculously wake up tomorrow morning and have something to write down.

Dr. Orloff: You might. Sometimes it comes instantaneously. Sometimes it's a process that takes many weeks. It depends on how much a person wants it. Often if you're going through something challenging and your ego's too involved or the situation is so emotionally charged that you can't get to your intuition, you can turn to your dreams because the ego is by-passed in the dream realm, making it easier for information to come through.

SML: How can we let go of the hook fear has that prevents us from seeing clearly to help someone we love? For example, I know the universe is literally shouting at one of my sons to notice something because of what keeps happening to him. But my fear for his safety prevents me from seeing anything at all.

Dr. Orloff: You can always ask a dream because fear isn't translated in the dream realm. You can ask a question before you go to sleep tonight and then just let it go. In the morning don't wake up too quickly and see what you get. Another technique I use is to practice neutrality. Go into meditation and breathe, breathe, breathe. Ask Spirit to take away the fear so you can see clearly. Sometimes you have to put in a prayer to have the fear lifted because you may be afraid to see certain things. You have to be ready to accept what you see. Acceptance is a big part of spiritual practice. Of course we want children to be happy and healthy and not have to go through anything painful, but that's unrealistic. Each person has their own soul's growth path, whatever it may be. The way to find more neutrality is through the breath and by asking the fear to be lifted so you can see clearly.

SML: I found the sections on death and dying in your book especially interesting. It seemed like you were saying that fear of death inhibits our capacity to live full lives.

Dr. Orloff: It does, especially in health care. Doctors are so afraid of death that it permeates everything. Intuition gives you the ability to really know there's something beyond this life. I feel very strongly that each of us needs to have a first hand experience that death is not the end. It should be part of our collective or cultural education. The work that can be done around death is to help people intuitively experience the transition first hand to know that it is absolutely safe to make this transition. We are in human form but our spirit isn't limited to it. This isn't a theory or philosophy; it's real. People need to know this and when they do, so much anxiety lifts. I work with all my patients on this level and I'm always working with at least one or two people who are making the passage.

SML: I was especially moved by your experience of being with your father when he died.

Dr. Orloff: Sometimes we are asked to be with those we love while they die. When we have a deep belief that death is not the end we can help a loved one pass over in such a beautiful way that we shine light on them as opposed to shining fear. It's part of loving someone. The time will come when we all have to leave here. I think about death every day. I have since I've been a little girl. Not in a morbid sense, rather as a touchstone to the cycles of spirit.

SML: My mother died of cancer eighteen years ago when I was pregnant with my youngest son. I wanted to be with her but it wasn't possible. She had a strong faith and wasn't afraid of death. I'm not either but what I've always been afraid of is the pain of losing someone I love. When I was little, I'd pretend that my cat and my mother had died so I could feel the grief and not be so overwhelmed when it happened.

Dr. Orloff: Grief is very different from the process of leaving the body. People need to understand this. Grief is tormenting and devastating. It's also purifying and healing. It calls for us to go deep into our hearts and gain courage and connection to the universe. Grief is an incredibly spiritual experience if you open up to it. I had the very clear realization that when my father died I was going to open my arms and let the winds of grief just blow through me whatever they were. It's wild and raw and purifying and it takes you to another place if you can open up to it.

SML: My mother came to me after she died. The last time I saw her I said, "I wish you could know this baby. But who knows, maybe in your own way you will." She replied, "Yes, who knows?" She died in August and Colin was born in December. The night after he was born we both fell asleep on the couch. Just before dawn I awoke and there was my mother standing at the foot of the steps. Immediately I knew this was her way of letting me know that she knew Colin. I have such peace because of that. I miss her of course, her physicality, our conversations, and hugs, but in a very real way she's just as much a part of my life now as she was when she was alive. She sends me dreams occasionally.

Dr. Orloff: Yes. And when people know that the spirit lives on it brings a lot of comfort and solace. It's common that loved ones come in dreams or visions to let you know they're okay. They sometimes come back in dreams as guides to offer us love or guidance when we're in hard periods. Another point to remember is that an intuitive disconnection does come after someone dies and it's important to honor this. It's a subtle energetic disassociation that is quite painful. It's like there's a hole that needs to be rewoven in a different way. You see, a real bond, the earthly bond, is cut and we experience it as pain. On an energetic level it's felt as an absence. It's wrenching but it does reweave itself.

SML: I was really struck by a statement you made when you were writing about someone losing a four year old child to cancer and how could there ever be a good reason for that? You said, "Faith in the face of the greatest possible loss may be more significant in the cosmic scheme of things than any one life itself, no matter how dear." To me it was one of the most profound sentences in the whole book.

Dr. Orloff: I agree with you. I'm impressed that you found it.