Very gently, in just a few meetings, Roberto had helped with what I would call "course correction" in my life. He helped me get back on course and gave me some navigational aids. I have his photograph above my desk in my office at home and I have it here at my office at Boeing.

Roberto is what I would call a very "dear older brother". Even though he passed away many years ago, his presence still gives me strength. I look at his photograph and his eyes are twinkling. He was, and is, a very special person in my life but I don't want to "deify" him. I just want to say that he was somebody who had the love and the willingness to stretch out a hand, to really give me what I needed at that time. It was a precious gift, and one that I'm still receiving a great deal of sustenance from.

Tammie: It sounds like you've learned to pass it on, just as he took time with you; you're taking time with me. Here was this man whom you held in high regard, and in spite of the fact that he was very busy, particularly during your second visit, he took the time because he knew how genuinely interested you were in hearing what he had to say. What also struck me Michael when I read his book several years ago was that he was the first person that I was aware of in my field who was not pathologizing spiritual emergencies. He was not saying, "this is an illness, there's something wrong here."

Michael Lindfield: That's why I felt that I could speak to him and not to anybody else. He saw my condition as a healthy sign of an inner struggle. He did not use a pathological model to interpret the somewhat disturbing symptoms of my situation.

Tammie: Exactly, you are so fortunate to have met him because I think he was one of the first people in my field to acknowledge that while pain is certainly not a welcomed experience, it can hold promise.

Michael Lindfield: That's why I'm eternally grateful that I met him when I did and that I was able to do some course correction. I think that if I had gone further off course without the benefit of help, it would have taken a much longer time and an even tougher battle to get back.

Tammie: Moving onto the next question, I realize that you've already spoken about your time at Findhorn, but I'm wondering if there's anything you might want to add about your experience there.

Michael Lindfield: Findhorn was really like an encapsulation of the world - even though in the early days it was a world unto itself. It was a spiritual greenhouse. We were living in community and focusing on our intra and inter-personal dynamics in order to be better equipped to serve in the world. In choosing this collective path we had to deal with everything the world faces - power, sex, money, earning a living, building relationships, education and governance. Findhorn contained all aspects of life -- these were the classrooms.

What it did for me was to help round me out as a human being. It helped all of me be present and it gave me some incredibly deep lessons. And that's where I met my wife, Binka, and that's where we raised our two children, Elysia and Coren. It is amazing how things turn out differently from what we have in mind. Never in my wildest moments had I dreamed that one day I would have a family. I always saw myself as this loner strolling around the planet attempting to do good deeds. An image of myself as a knight of the Round Table, who had a more important mission to fulfill than raising children, had been with me in my early 20s. Then I found myself in this relationship and the images crumbled.

Looking back, the path of the family has been the greatest gift. Findhorn gave me many gifts during my 14 years in the community and I was also able to give to Findhorn. The measure I used in order to see if it was still right to be at Findhorn was the degree to which it was giving to me and that I was giving to it.

Tammie: That there was a reciprocity.

Michael Lindfield: Yes, and then when it was time to leave, it became very obvious. It was time to move out as a family and this coincided with a new stage in Findhorn’s growth.

The community had just finished a seven-year cycle that I was very much a part of, and was just about to embark on the next cycle. This next phase would focus on building the ecological village. I was very passionate about this, but I didn't feel that I was to be one of the actual builders. My time had come to an end there. I believe that if you're going to stay for a cycle then you've got to make a commitment to be fully present. I didn’t have that sense and so it was a perfect time to say, "right, we've completed our cycle. Let’s move on".

So that’s what we did as a family - the four of us. We spent the last four-to-six weeks saying goodbye to people and selling little odds and ends and basically getting ready to leave. There was a little wrench and a tug at the heart-strings in leaving good friends that we'd known for years, but otherwise it was an effortless transplant. We pulled up our roots. No roots were broken. The roots let go and released themselves from the soil of the community without much resistance if you want to use a gardening analogy. We had a sense of "leaving with ease" which is always a good indication of right timing. However, it didn't guarantee that everything would be easy sailing from then on. It just meant it was good timing –we were in rhythm.

Tammie: Do you still feel connected to Findhorn today?

Michael Lindfield: Yes, I do. I'm part of a listserve of former Findhorn members. I still feel connected on a deep level - a connection to what it is, to what it's attempting to bring through and give to the world and to what it's given me. I support it in my thoughts and I'm sure I will return in the next year for a visit. I went back four years ago for a week and although the forms looked a little different, the same spirit was abroad. Findhorn is definitely an experience that will live with me forever. There is nothing inside of me saying that I have to go back to find a missing piece of myself. I don't miss anything because there's nothing to miss. If you're connected with something or someone then you have that living inside of you always.