Coaching, For Parents of ADHD Children

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

Dr. Richfield is a child psychologist the creator of The Parent Coaching Cards. These cards help to develop frustration tolerance and other self control skills in ADD/ADHD children, as well as helping children learn to analyze situations, adapt to them, and restrain themselves rather than acting on impulse.

David: is the HealthyPlace.com moderator.

The people in blue are audience members.

Conference Transcript

David: Good Evening. I'm David Roberts. I'm the moderator for tonight's conference. I want to welcome everyone to HealthyPlace.com. I'm glad you had the opportunity to join us and I hope your day went well. Our topic tonight is "Coaching, For Parents of ADD/ADHD Children." Our guest is Dr. Steven Richfield. If you want to know what "coaching" is all about before we get into the conference, please click on this link.

Our guest tonight is psychologist and developer of The Parent Coaching Cards, Dr. Steven Richfield. Dr. Richfield is a child psychologist, parent/teacher trainer, and has been working in the mental health field since 1980. He is based in Pennsylvania and specializes in the treatment of disruptive behavior disorders and sees families with children diagnosed as having ADD/ADHD, behaviors that are difficult for both child and parent to manage.

Good evening, Dr. Richfield and welcome to HealthyPlace.com. I know that everyone here tonight hasn't had a chance to read your article on what a parent coach is. So, can you briefly explain that concept?

Dr. Richfield: Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. Parent coaching is a prescriptive type of parenting involving tools and goals to help children develop social and emotional skills.

David: What kind of tools and goals are we talking about?

Dr. Richfield: The tools range from Parent Coaching Cards to other concrete strategies developed by parents and children in a partnership.

David: So when you say the word "coaching" are you really referring to "tutoring" in the sense of teaching your child how to deal with various situations that may arise?

Dr. Richfield: Many skills such as frustration tolerance and other self control skills can be coached. The Coaching Cards offer an on-site tutoring forum. Parents can access the lessons right on the spot or prepare their kids for future challenges

David: For instance, what kinds of situations or behaviors is coaching good for?

Dr. Richfield: Let's say a child frequently clowns when in large gatherings - parents can explain how this leads to negative social evaluations. They can use the Coaching Card "Quit The Clowning" to prepare a kid for an event.

David: What age group are these cards good for? And at what age can you begin coaching your ADD child?

Dr. Richfield: Classroom environments, family gatherings, and recess are all coachable places. The Cards target ages 7 - 12 but are used with younger and older kids. Coaching can begin very early - in the preschool years.

David: And specifically, how is coaching effective in working with ADD-ADHD children?

Dr. Richfield: When your kids are younger they require a more personalized approach and parents need to be especially sensitive to their personalities. ADHD kids often do not access internal language - coaching gives them a roadmap to do so. By preparing them for challenges, rehearsing thinking side solutions, you carve out a path of adaptation. One very critical component is the "talk to yourself" message.

David: In other words, what you are saying is you simply analyze the behavior or emotional situation the child is or maybe facing (sort of like role playing) and work though that together. So if the situation arises again, the child will be better able to handle it.

Dr. Richfield: This refers to the content of thought that we are coaching in our ADHD kids that replaces the impulse discharge that so often characterizes their response to a stimulus. Yes, the analysis is compared to a video tape that is rewound and stopped at different points for review. This way the parent and child can revise the child's responses the next time the same plot unfolds.

David: On your site, you say "although there are many social and emotional lessons for children to learn, the Parent Coach accepts the fact that they have much to learn as well. Children will be far more receptive to a parent's attempts to coach life skills if they don't feel talked down to, but sense that they and their parent are 'in this coaching thing together.'" Does this put the parent more in the role of a "friend" to the child vs. being a parent?

Dr. Richfield: Also, the child uses the Coaching Cards in a preparatory way - as does the parent - so there is a partnership. The Parent Coach is all of these - coach, authority, friend, confidante - all wrapped up into one.

David: Dr. Richfield's site is here: http://www.parentcoachcards.com

I'm wondering, Dr. Richfield, is it the "coach, authority figure, friend, and confidante" role that makes it difficult for the ADD child to figure out what the "parent" role is? Can it be confusing for him/her?

Dr. Richfield: It depends on the child. In order to minimize confusion, the parent is wise to first examine the Coaching Cards and see how they apply to the adult world so that the child understands that learning self control and social skills is a life skill. Coaching comes in when a situation arises that displays a gap between what the environment is asking and what skills the child may lack. Some kids prefer to use the cards without parental help while others will only get comfortable with them by themselves.

David: A couple of audience questions I'm getting center around this: Why is it more difficult for an ADD child to develop social and emotional skills?