Advocating For Your ADD, ADHD Child

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

Judy Bonnell, host of The Parent Advocate website, has 40 years of experience and knowledge to share when it comes to parenting and advocating for ADHD children. This conference is for parents of children with ADHD, ADD.

David is the HealthyPlace.com moderator.

The people in blue are audience members.

Conference Transcript

David: Good Evening. I'm David Roberts. I'm the moderator for tonight's conference. I want to welcome everyone to HealthyPlace.com.

Our topic tonight is "Advocating for your ADD, ADHD Child". Our guest is Judy Bonnell, owner of The Parent Advocate website here at HealthyPlace.com. If you haven't been to her site yet, I encourage you to do so. There's a lot of information there.

So everyone knows, Judy has over 40 years of experience parenting and advocating for her children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and helping other parents deal with the system and understanding their child's education rights. Over those years, she's picked up a lot of knowledge about how "the system" works and how you can make it work for you. You can read her story here.

Good Evening Judy, and welcome to HealthyPlace.com and thanks for being our guest this evening. I can't tell you how many emails I get from parents who are either frustrated or dejected and feel like they've run into a brick wall when it comes to getting help for their children. Why is it so darned hard to get the health system, the school system, and others to work with our ADD, ADHD children?

Judy Bonnell: Good evening. It is indeed a pleasure to be here. If I had an easy answer to your questions, we would indeed have healthy well-educated children. But I find politics and money are often the overriding factors in these services. It will be a fine day when a child's needs are most important.

David: If you had to summarize, what would you say are the one or two more important things parents should know when it comes to advocating for your child?

Judy Bonnell: Document, Document, Document. Write lots of letters of understanding. Explain what you want and what you have been told by school personnel. Be polite but thorough and keep copies of everything.

David: When it comes to school issues, would you say it's better to go through the chain of command, or would you go straight to the top to get your problems resolved?

Judy Bonnell: By the time parents realize they have a serious problem, the teachers and, usually, the principal are aware. If so, go to the special education director. Principals do not actually make special education decisions but are sometimes a member of the Individualized Education Plan (IEP) team and have input.

David: So, keeping well-documented files on your attempts to get help and what's been said to whom is very important. What about a parent's demeanor in dealing with the school personnel. Should a parent be tough or condescending, or what would you suggest?

Judy Bonnell: That is such a hard one! I was always Jell-O at my own son's Individualized Education Plan, IEP meetings. But if parents take a Parent Attachment and have their concerns on paper, it is much easier.

David: We have some audience questions, then we'll continue:

KK: Yale University Medical Center has strongly recommended that my 7 year old daughter have an aide in the classroom. We live in Florida and I was told "that is not how we do things down here." North, South, East or West should not make a difference. What is the criteria for obtaining an aide?

Judy Bonnell: The need actually. Anytime someone tells you something that sounds off the wall, ask them to please put their position in writing for you. Also, if it is district policy, it has to be in writing.

KK: They said that an aide is only used for short-term issues and since my daughter's need is long-term, she wouldn't qualify for an aide. Isn't an aide less restrictive than 2 hours in the resource room?

Judy Bonnell: I would ask for that position in writing! I bet you don't get the same response. Any aide is only as good as the support and training he or she gets. If utilized in regular education setting, then teachers need support and training also. You are entitled to ask for that.

David: So what you're saying is -- school officials, etc. can say anything they want, and they expect parents to take that as "gospel," but that doesn't mean it's so. So it's important to take the initiative and go through the written school district policy book and check it out yourself.

Judy Bonnell: The written word is your most important ally. Learn to use it all the time. You can afford to be polite but as firm as necessary when you make people accountable on paper for their words. Also Letters of Understanding give people the chance to correct any misunderstandings.

And yes, David, it is wise not only to get district policy but a copy of your state's regulations for special education.

teresat: How can parents obtain information such as written school district policy books?

Judy Bonnell: Such information is public record. I would ask for a copy of any policy that you regard as strange. Just ask for it in writing. They have to give it to you.