Advice and Insights for Parents of Children with ADHD - Information for Parents of Children with ADHD

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

8360kev: Do you think diet is better then Ritalin?

David: Have you had any experience with that Brandi? Have you tried adjusting your children's diets?

Brandi Valentine: I can't say that it's better, but I do believe that it is overlooked as a possible solution or at least a benefit to the child.

I have tried several diets over the last couple of years that have made a difference. I can't begin to tell you how much certain things can interfere with your body such as glutens, wheat products etc. I believe that children, on-or-off medication, can benefit from a better diet.

On medication, many children have problems with appetite suppression. If they are not eating well, how can you expect them to be getting all the nutrition they need? I also believe that children with allergies, have more problems with ADD, ADHD symptoms. If you can alleviate these through diet, I would certainly try it.

David: And definitely beware of sugar items, like sodas, snacks, ice cream, etc. That only adds to the hyperactivity.

Can you give us an example of two or three food items that you changed in your children's diet, and what was the difference that it made?

Brandi Valentine: I haven't changed any food items in their diets other than watching the amount of sugar that they eat. Not because of hyperactivity issues but because sugar can deplete the body of minerals. I do add an essential mineral and a multi enzyme supplement to their diet. I do this, because minerals are necessary for proper brain function, and enzymes are necessary in order for minerals to be effective. Enzymes also help with proper digestion and aid in the breakdown of foods.

My experiments with diet have been limited to just myself and my issues with pain and arthritis, etc.

Lesia: Just a week ago, we found that our son is possibly ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and the doctor has told us that he would like to put him on Ritalin 5mg twice a day. My husband and I have only heard bad things about this drug. We think that he is too young for this medication. What do we do? Please tell me that we have another road to take, other than medicating him.

Brandi Valentine: How old is your son?

Lesia: He is 3 yrs. old

Brandi Valentine: Please remember this is just my opinion and that I am not a medical professional.

My experience and opinion is this: even though my son was displaying what I now know to be ADD, ADHD symptoms at 3 years old, if I was given a diagnosis at that age, and was told to medicate him, I would ask myself these questions:

What drove me to seek a diagnosis? His behavior? Is he aggressive? Do I instinctively know that there is something wrong based on behavior and other issues? If so, even with the diagnosis, at 3 years old, I would try other methods simply because Ritalin can impact your child's life forever.

We know now that children who have been on Ritalin are not candidates for the military. If you have used Ritalin, it is much harder if not impossible to get a pilots license. Plus, the choice to medicate often comes with a large burden of guilt.

On one hand, you have professionals who are eager to see you "medicate first, ask questions later". On the other hand, you have others, who want to condemn you for placing your child on a class 2 substance simply because you can't effectively parent your child. Then, you have your own doubts as to whether or not you have done the right thing, about the long-term effects, etc.

I feel that if you try other alternatives first, and choose medication last, then, without guilt or doubt, you can say to yourself that you chose the best route for your child. 3 years is so young.

David: Also Lesia, if you are not comfortable with this doctor's opinion, I would certainly get a second and even a third opinion.

Brandi Valentine: May I ask what drove you to seek a medical diagnosis?

Lesia: We always said he was outgoing and left it at that, but he's in a school for the blind, and the school suggests that we get him checked. The school has been good, and they have been working with us very closely.

Brandi Valentine: You had the medical evaluation, have you had the academic evaluation? That would be just as important to me. They now know that many gifted and talented children are misdiagnosed as add/adhd due to the fact that going unchallenged leaves them bored and exhibiting symptoms similar to ADHD children. Also, a learning disability might be the cause too.

If this was my child, I'd be more inclined to be sure that there wasn't another way to address the problem. Perhaps an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) would give him more individualized help. Help like that, might give him the ability to do what is being asked of him, without the aid of medication. 5mg of Ritalin is such a low dose, I would definitely try to address his issues without it as long as I could.

David: Brandi, since you introduced the subject of "parental guilt"-- earlier you said you felt very guilty when you found out your children had ADHD. Can you talk about that a bit? Your feelings and how they have changed over the years, if at all? Also, how you have coped with that guilt?

Brandi Valentine: I didn't feel guilty about the ADD ADHD diagnosis. That part was the big relief. Most of my guilt has come from the fact that, for so many years, I was told that my son's problems were a product of my inability to parent. I was told this by school professionals, medical doctors, family members, etc. The ADHD diagnosis lifted some of that guilt, by telling me that I was not responsible for what was happening to my son, but then, new guilt issues stepped in.

Many family members accuse me of making a "momma's boy" out of my son, using the ADD/ADHD as an "excuse." Knowing that your child takes a class 2 substance like Ritalin, with possible side-effects not yet known, adds some guilt, as well as what the label of special education has done to my child with regards to his future. And then too, the fact that I consented to have him committed to a psychiatric facility for 2 weeks.

I'd like to say that I handle the guilt well, but I can't. A lot of times, I am able to keep the guilt behind me, not let it affect me. But there are times, when no matter how much rationalization I do about the choices I've made, someone will say something that brings some of this guilt to the surface and I have to deal with it.

Hindsight is 20/20. I do feel that I would do some things differently, but for the most part, if I sit down and think about the choices I've made I have to say that I made each one with my son's best interest at heart. And each decision I made, at the time, was the best possible one to make.

I simply try my best not to put myself with people who do not understand or support my decisions. Unfortunately, some of these people are family members, but I do my best to either avoid the issue with them or avoid them. I can't function properly or have faith in my decisions if I let those that do not support me or understand me, undermine me with guilt.

David: And that's a great point Brandi. We, as parents, can only do what we think is best at the time. We are not experts in every field and so sometimes the choices may not be the best ones. But that comes with 20/20 hindsight.

I know it's getting late. Brandi, thank you for being our guest tonight and sharing the things you've learned and for being forthright about your feelings. We appreciate that. I also want to thank everyone in the audience for coming tonight. I hope you found it helpful. Visit Brandi Valentine's site, ADHD News, right here at HealthyPlace.com.

Brandi Valentine: Thank you for having me and thanks everyone for coming.

David: Good night everyone and thank you again for being here tonight.

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