Peers and friendship

Teens with ADHD may feel 'different' from their peers and feel socially isolated, particularly if they're impulsive and speak before they think about others' reactions.

Friends' parents may not want them mixing with a teen who has ADHD and 'gets into trouble all the time'.

Teens with ADHD can be perfectionists and focus completely on something they're interested in - which is wearing for friends.

Sometimes they don't notice what's going on around them, so their peers may call them names or think them stupid. Your teen may react by becoming the class clown to make himself popular.

Ways to Help:

• encourage friendships and let your teen invite people home as often as possible.
• teach your teen social skills such as how to read people's body language. It will help them see when they're at odds with friends and why. Check out our Social Skills Information Sheet for some ideas.
• teach your teen to take a deep breath before they say or do something, and think about how they would feel if someone said or did that to them.
• praise your teen often, and specifically, to boost their self-esteem and avoid the 'class clown' syndrome.

ADHD, drugs and alcohol

Some research shows that young people with ADHD are more likely to experiment with substances and start at an earlier age.

There are two things that make your child more likely to use substances:

1. having friends who use drugs and alcohol
2. being aggressive

How to avoid this:

• get to know your teen's friends, and subtly encourage friendships with those who don't use alcohol or drugs
• keep your teen's aggression under control - if necessary, ask your GP to help
• read up on the signs of substance misuse eg money going missing or 'holes' in spending, lying or secretive behaviour, sudden mood changes, loss of appetite or interest in school, work or friends
• teach your teen about substance misuse - be accurate and don't use scare tactics

If your teen does start using drugs or abusing alcohol:

• don't nag
• let him know that you're worried about them and you love them - it's the behaviour you don't like
• help them get professional help to quit.

Sex and relationships:

• If your teen feels unpopular at school, they may become promiscuous to make themselves more popular.
• Sex also releases natural stimulants, so it may be a form of self-medication (as stimulant medication is used to treat ADHD).
• Research by Mariellen Fischer shows that teens with ADHD may be more likely to start having sex at an early age and less likely to use birth control.

To try avoid this:

• boost your teen's self-esteem so they feel valued and don't have to be promiscuous to feel good about themselves
• talk frankly with your teen about sex and relationships so they value themselves more highly
• teach your teen about why safe sex and contraception are important.

next: Supporting Teenagers With ADHD