Addresses common problems facing ADHD teenagers and how parents of ADHD teens can help.

Teenagers with ADHD experience the same problems as teenagers without ADHD, such as:

• self-identity
• being part of a group and fitting in with peers, eg clothes, music, friends
• worries about exams and careers
• physical development
• conflict with parents about decision-making and authority.

However, teens with ADHD may react to some of the problems more acutely, and because they have lower tolerance levels they're more likely to go off at the deep end.

They also have more problems with self-esteem. Research by Russell Barkley and Gwenyth Edwards showed that teens with ADHD have more conflicts with their parents than teens without ADHD, and particularly with their mothers.

Below are some of the more common issues that ADHD teens face along with tips to help tackle them.

Not Taking ADHD Medication

Don't make this a power struggle. If your teen isn't taking their ADHD medication, ask them why and make sure that you properly listen to their views as they are valid - however once you have listened to them ask them to listen to your reasons why you feel they need to take medication and then try to explain how this can help them to focus and concentrate and be less impulsive. Try to remind them how things have been since they have been on medication if they have been on it and try to explain how it helped them to get on better and easier at school and with friends.

If they keeps forgetting, get them to think of a way of reminding themselves to take it.

If they are embarrassed to take medication for ADHD at school because they don't want their friends to know, talk to your GP or specialist about a sustained-release form so your teen won't have to take it at school.

ADHD Behaviour

Behaviour management techniques work on children but aren't as good for teenagers. This is because:

• they're used to techniques such as star charts and reward chip systems and are bored by them
• teenagers tend to rebel against what they think is parental manipulation.
• If you give your teenager a huge list of house rules, they are likely to rebel.
• If you talk things through with them and get them to negotiate the rules with you as a team, they are more likely to stick to the rules.
• It's a double-win situation because this will also teach them a skill for dealing with problems and how to compromise.

Tips for tackling problem behaviour

Don't focus just on the negatives - look at what they can do well and praise the good behaviour.

• Try to keep a sense of humour.
• Teach them the consequences of their behaviour so they learn why they should or shouldn't do something.
• Pick your battles carefully - ignore the little things and concentrate on the big things, or you'll be nagging constantly and this will make them hostile towards you.
• Give them specific choices - this makes them feel more like an adult and means they are more likely to do what you ask.
• Look at your expectations - are they reasonable or are you demanding perfection?
• Be careful with assumptions - anticipating bad behaviour sets up negative expectations. Don't assume they are doing something deliberately to upset you or that one thing is going to lead to the worst possible scenario, eg not doing a piece of homework.
• Talk through the problems together, and when you're calm. Come up with a list of solutions and find a compromise that works for all of you - including what happens if they don't do what you have agreed. It's best if this is a logical consequence ie temporarily removing their games console if it interferes with studying.
• Keep communicating with your teen - listen as well as talk, maintain eye contact and try to express anger without hurtful words.
• Ask your GP for help if either you or your teen are having problems managing anger.