Perpetual Powerlessness and Never-Ending Recovery

Anne Wayman, author of the book Powerfully Recovered, joined us to discuss her view of 12 step programs, recovery, and powerlessness as these issues relate to substance abuse and addictions.

David Roberts is the HealthyPlace.com moderator.

The people in blue are audience members.

David: Good Evening. I'm David Roberts. I'm the moderator for tonight's conference. I want to welcome everyone to HealthyPlace.com. Our topic tonight is "Addictions Treatment: Perpetual Powerlessness and Never-Ending Recovery."

Our guest tonight is Anne Wayman, author of the book Powerfully Recovered. Anne maintains that all the talk in 12-step programs, like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), about perpetual powerlessness and never-ending recovery are simply false myths that are doing real damage to both 12 Steppers and to many who need recovery but refuse it.

Good evening, Anne, and welcome to HealthyPlace.com. Thank you for joining us tonight. Can you please tell us a bit more about yourself, who you are today, and also give us a feeling of your previous relationship with various substances?"

Wayman: Hello David and everyone! I'm glad to be here.

I'm a firm believer in the 12 Steps - recovered alcoholic and addict, currently living in San Diego - I'm a writer, a grandmother, a potter, etc.

David: How long were you dealing with substance abuse?

Wayman: Let's see, I first started getting drunk in college, but my father was in AA and I had been at AA meetings, so I knew how to change my pattern of drinking. I controlled, more or less (mostly less as time went on), my drinking until I had a car accident at 32 which sent me to the Program. I also claim addiction because I discovered I was abusing prescription drugs.

David: And this went on for how long?

Wayman: How long is... say... 18 to 32? I'm not good at numbers.

David: And then you started with your recovery. What did you to do recover from alcohol and drug addiction and how long did it take you?

Wayman: I came to my first AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meeting at 32 and stayed sober from then on... not easily or gracefully, but I didn't slip... more by the grace of God than of my own efforts. It took about 5 years, give or take, to really settle in and start to feel like my skin fit.

David: So the audience knows, Anne has been clean and sober for 25 years. As I mentioned at the beginning, Anne has a different concept of what 12 step programs should be.

One thing I want to make clear, Anne. For years, you participated in Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.), Narcotics Anonymous (N.A.), Debtors Anonymous (D.A.) and other 12-step programs and you learned a lot from them. They helped you in your recovery. Am I correct in saying that?

Wayman: Oh yes, and I still participate, but not as intensely. The 12 Steps act as my foundation. I also draw from all sorts of other things, spiritual, self-help, and my own intuition now.

David: Anne, we may have people here tonight who may not have a complete understanding of 12 step programs. So, for them, could you please briefly explain the concept of "powerlessness" and "recovery" from the 12-step program viewpoint?

Wayman: David, the first step says, "We admitted we were powerless..." and I've come to see that it means, before the steps, we are totally and utterly powerless over our addiction. But after we've worked through the steps well, and settled down, we needn't fear our addiction any more (not cured). What I hear so often around the tables is statements like "I'm powerless over everything in my life." Do you follow?

David: I do, and I want to explore that more in a few minutes. Could you also explain, from the 12 step point of view, the idea of "recovery."

Wayman: Hmmm, as we often hear it around the 12 step tables, recovery is the ongoing process of letting go of our addiction and the emotional problems that contributed to it. I believe, however, that we can become recovered - like it says in the forward to the first edition of the Big Book - recovered in the sense that we can get fully back to life, free of our addiction.

David: And when you use the term "Powerfully Recovered" (the title of your book), what do you mean by that?

Wayman: That the goal of any 12 Step Program is real freedom from addiction, that we can become 'recovered' in the sense of not being sick, and that we can take powerful action in our lives on our own behalf.

David: The two things I want to emphasize tonight is the idea of "powerlessness" over one's addiction and behaviors and secondly, that recovery is an ongoing process. Everyone who enters A.A., for example, is told that recovery is an on-going thing. However, after years of meetings, you found that less involvement in recovery and engaging more in the outside world and other activities was really helpful to you. How so?

Wayman: Recovery is ongoing in the sense that we grow up. When I started exploring the world, my first venture was to a folk music club. I found just not being at an AA meeting every night meant my life expanded. I've done all sorts of things, from new age to psychology studies.

I also discovered that when I came back to a meeting after, say, a night at the folk music club, I was fresher and freer and had more to say that made sense at the meetings.