Don't Panic!

A lot is asked of us parents, but we can meet the challenge!

The recommendations in this pamphlet add up to a stiff set of demands on parents. But there is nothing in this pamphlet, or about being a parent in general, that cannot be approached through careful thought and attention to our children, ourselves, and other people.

Raising children does not require perfection. It requires the willingness to jump in, even though 'jumping in' means that we'll make mistakes. We must believe that mistakes can provide useful experiences that will improve us and our children as people. We must have enough confidence in ourselves and our children to take risks, and enough strength to change course if we are dissatisfied.

When we recognize the true dangers in a situation and proceed with our eyes open, we create a cautious but optimistic map that our children can follow. This map can help our kids discover their own ability to face the challenges of life. As parents, we must make our children partners while still keeping the final say. In this way, we accept responsibility for being parents while helping our children accept responsibility for themselves. This must be our ultimate goal.

next: The "Cure" for Adolescent Drug Abuse: Worse than the Problem?

References

1. L.D. Johnston, P.M. O'Malley, and J.G. Beckman (1996) National Survey Results on Drug Use from The Monitoring the Future Study Rockville, MD: NIDA.

2. Although drug use is spread among all groups, the most destructive teenage drug use occurs among inner-city youth alienated from the mainstream. M. Newcomb and P. Bentler (1988) Consequences of Adolescent Drug Use: Impact on the Lives of Young Adults Newbury Park, CA: Sage Publications.

3. E. Werner (1986) "Resilient Offspring of Alcoholics: A Longitudinal Study from Birth to Age 18" Journal on Studies on Alcohol 47(1): 34-40; J.H. Brown and J. Horowitz (1993) "Deviance and Deviants: Why Adolescent Substance Use Prevention Programs Do Not Work" Evaluation Review 17(5): 529-555.

4. R. Jessor and S.L. Jessor (1977) Problem Behavior and Psychological Development: A Longitudinal Study of Youth New York: Academy Press; J. Shedler and J. Block (1990) "Adolescent Drug Use and Psychological Health: A Longitudinal Inquiry" American Psychologist 45(5): 612-630.

5. This process is well-known. In the case of alcohol, see D. Heath "Socio-cultural Variance in Alcoholism" in E.M. Pattison and E. Kaufman (eds.) (1982) Encyclopedic Handbook of Alcoholism NY: Gardner Press, 426-440; M. Marshall (ed.) (1979) Beliefs, Behaviors, and Alcoholic Beverages: A Cross-Cultural Survey Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press.

6. A good book for understanding basic facts about drugs is From Chocolate to Morphine: Everything You Need to Know About Mind-Altering Drugs by Andrew Weil and Winifred Rosen (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co., 1993).

7. J. H. Brown, M. D'Emidio-Caston, K. Kaufman, T. Goldsworthy-Hanner and M. Alioto (1995) In Their Own Voices: Students and Educators Evaluate California School-Based Drug, Alcohol, and Tobacco Education (DATE) Programs, Washington, DC: Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation; E. Werner (1986), op. cit.

8. L.D. Johnston et al. (1996), op. cit.

9. S. Peele (1986) "The Cure for Adolescent Drug Abuse: Worse than the Problem?" Journal of Counseling and Development 65: 23-34.

10. Even though the expansion of hospitalization of teenagers more than quadrupled from 1980 to 1986, remission rates for outpatient counseling in the United States are typically at least as good as those for hospital stays. W.R. Miller and R.K. Hester "Inpatient Alcoholism Treatment: Who Benefits" (1986) American Psychologist 41: 794-805. In addition, although the United Kingdom does not rely on hospitalization for alcohol and drug abuse, it shows effectiveness at least as great as that found in private American treatment centers. D. Cameron (1995) Liberating Solutions for Alcohol Problems Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson.

11. S. Peele (1987) "What Can We Expect from Treatment of Adolescent Drug and Alcohol Abuse?" Pediatrician 14: 62-69.

About the Authors

Stanton Peele, a distinguished alcohol and drug expert, has received the Mark Keller Award for Alcohol Research from the Rutgers Center for Alcohol Studies, and the Lindesmith Award for Career Scholarship from the Drug Policy Foundation. He is the author of Love and Addiction, Diseasing of America, and The Truth about Addiction and Recovery.

Marianne Apostolides, is author of Inner Hunger: Dealing with the Realities of Anorexia and Bulimia which will be published by W.W. Norton & Co. in 1997.

next: The "Cure" for Adolescent Drug Abuse: Worse than the Problem?