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Page 3 of 3
Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions, or principles with whom we were angry. We asked ourselves why we were angry. In many cases it was found that our self esteem, our pocketbooks, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened. So we were sore. We were "burned up."
On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with?
We were usually as definite as this example:
| I'm Resentful at: |
The Cause |
Affects my: |
| Mr. Brown |
His attention to my wife. |
Sex relations
Self esteem (fear) |
|
Told my wife of my mistress. |
Self esteem (fear)
Sex relations |
|
Brown may get my job. |
Security
Self esteem (fear) |
| Mrs. Jones |
She's a nut she snubbed me.
She committed her husband for drinking. He is my friend.
She's a gossip.
|
Personal relationship
Self esteem (fear)
|
|
|
| My employer |
Unreasonable- Unjust-Overbearing
Threatens to fire me for drinking and padding my expense account.
|
Self esteem (fear)
Security
|
| My wife |
Misunderstands and Nags. Likes Brown.
Wants the house put in her name.
|
Pride Personal sex relations
Security (fear)
|
We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. When we were finished we considered it carefully. The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got. As in wart, the victor only seemed to win. Our moments of triumph were short lived.
It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be dubious luxury of normal men, but for the alcoholics, these things are poison.
next: Into Action
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